I have heard the voice of the One calling in the wilderness.....................this wilderness that has sprung up all around me...........this crowding in of things and people and voices and just pure meaningless inputting of information and entertainment..........but through it all I hear the voice of the One calling in the wilderness.............
I started off so sure of my course, so sure of who He was, if not in who I was in Him.......I was able to look down at the path and the course seemed steady.........of course I would be one who would be on the narrow way.............His voice was not yet known to me but I had a blind faith, a trust that surpassed knowledge...........
And then...........the seeds were sown, the seedlings sprouting and before I realized certain things took root in my life................things that, while they weren't bad, weren't the best and they began to block the light, overtake the path of which I was once so sure. Now when I looked around and down and up and forward I just saw the growth of that which wasn't there before............blocking the path, blocking the light..........
But I heard the voice of the One calling in the wilderness.............sure where I wasn't sure anymore, faithful when my faith had wavered, strong and always there when I felt lost, He was calling me back to the path.............
And so the winnowing began, the brutal cutting down, pulling up from the roots things that were keeping me from the path, that were blocking me from seeing Him..........for even though I was crowded in, I knew that He always knew where I was, that nothing was keeping Him from me, rather it was I who was lost, who was keeping myself from Him.....................
I hear the voice of the One calling in the wilderness..................
I am here.
I am here.
Come follow me.
Come follow me.
Once again the path is a bit clearer. The pace is steady and strong. I have the faith of one who has walked a bit further, not that far, not that long but one who has been found. I will continue the winnowing. But I know that should I get lost, should the path seemingly disappear from sight I have One who will come, who will find me.
I am here.
I am here.
Come follow me
Come follow me.
I have heard the voice of the One calling in the wilderness.....................
Monday, October 15, 2012
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Laying Back..........Letting Go
It's scary to look at this blank page.................to realize that I have nothing to say or write tonight. To think of the commitment I made on this blog, the one I spoke to others one night.........saying this is how I hear God, this is where I come to speak what goes through my mind all through the day.........this is good.
Except when it's not.
I am so used to my mind being filled with ideas and thoughts and opinions and convictions. I cram my head full, always racing to what will be happening the next minute, the next hour, the next day. I map out plans and posts and dreams all while going about my daily tasks.
I love the beginning of an idea..............I love to think on it all day, to ruminate, to tweak it, to play with it. By the time Joe gets home I am in full-fledged I-HAVE-THE-BEST-IDEA-EVER mode..........it can get a little exhausting for my husband. Because, to be honest, some of my ideas come to fruition but not all and sometimes it's not even about the plan and whether or not it happens, it's just about the idea.
But tonight.............this blank page............it reminds me. I am not the only writer in my life.............there is another who wishes to write on the pages of my mind but sometimes I have them crammed full of MY ideas, MY thoughts, MY opinions.........and where does that leave Him?
With only a tiny bit of space to write His words.............
And then they might get lost amidst my own script as I frantically and feverishly fill the space in my mind and in my life...................
What if all He's asking for is a blank page on which to write His words?
Is that too much?
To be still and to empty my mind of all the things that I pour into it throughout the day......
What would happen in turning off, logging off, putting down, shutting down, tuning out the distractions of life?
What if I gave Him the space He needed to speak directly to me?
What would He write?
Needing just to hear from Him tonight............breathing deep, loosening the grip I have kept on things all day, relaxing into a state of just being, letting go of every thing and every thought that threatens to creep in...................
Turning off, logging off, putting down, shutting down, tuning out..................
Friday, October 12, 2012
JOY
I have been thinking of this word the past few days...................what is joy? How do you find it? What does it mean to have joy? And the word that keeps accompanying it is inappropriate.
Really?
You want me to write inappropriate? Argh.
If you know me personally then you know that word is ENTIRELY appropriate.
Inappropriate seems to be a family trait. It encompasses my mom, my brother, his wife and I - all INAPPROPRIATE. The normal trophy was passed from my dad to Joe. Carry on, honey, carry on.............we are all depending on you. But here's the thing. When I was thinking of joy and how you find it I was trying to think of APPROPRIATE things because I wanted this to be a serious post about how you find your joy and how it's in the Lord and I wanted TO HELP and be a serious person.
NOPE, He said.
JOY IS INAPPROPRIATE.
Why? Because we live in a fallen and broken world. Like that roller coaster I talked about yesterday we never know what is coming around the next corner. All around us are stories of death, destruction, political divide, racism, divorce, joblessness, neglect, abandon.........so much more horror and tragedy. Joy would be inappropriate in the face of such things yet every day we face such things in our on lives, in our neighborhoods, in our churches, in our world.
BUT WE WILL BE JOYFUL.
Because we know. We know that happiness is based on circumstances. But JOY is based on who we know. JOY is based on a heart convicted of deep truths, hard truths. Truths that speak of a new world, a better world and finding a glimpse of it here as you carry Jesus with you. And Jesus brings JOY. And Jesus was the ultimate example of being inappropriate.
SO LET'S GET INAPPROPRIATE......
Joy is a weapon. A weapon against an enemy who seeks to rob you of your JOY. I have seen joyful faces in the midst of tragedy and I have wanted what they have. I wanted a conviction, a faith that would carry me through the darkest times with a face that reflected joy. I think of those people now and I think of the impact they had on my faith walk. They were steps on my journey to Jesus. They knew JOY. So when life becomes too hard, too much, too crippling.............dig deep, rise up and laugh in the face of what is being thrown your way.
HOW?
Remember how I said that JOY is inappropriate? Well, I thought about every laugh out loud moment I have had, the ones that really stick out in my mind...........they are all ENTIRELY inappropriate. THis might just be me but look back, look back in your life. What causes you to laugh out loud? Because here's the thing. We can know Jesus and we can have faith but then we need to be ok with laughing in the midst of tragedy. That goes against what seems right. And there are times when you need gravity and to be sensitive to those around you but I think we are scared to acknowledge JOY sometimes.
OK.........HOW?
My joy moments.................sitting at dinner and being overcome with the need to throw a glass of water in my husband's face. HE HATES THIS. But seriously, it brings me so much joy, I am seriously LAUGHING OUT LOUD RIGHT NOW. I have no idea what comes over me but I have done it quite a few times and it's even better when your kids are sitting there, UTTERLY HORRIFIED that their mother has just LOST ALL SENSE OF PROPRIETY and has just thrown a glass of water across the table at daddy. I love to wear the kid's underwear on my head and declare wars. We did this at Francesca's birthday party........girls vs. boys.......the grandmas, aunts and uncles all played too. I think there were 12 people crammed into the girls tiny room all throwing socks at each other with underwear on their heads while Uncle Vince videotaped it all and Aunt Colleen wondering what the heck she married into...........I am sure that Uncle Vince explained later that this is more a Kossler thing than a Codispoti thing and it shouldn't affect their life too much........or their children when they come. I love making fart noises with Nico-BIG, LOUD, WET fart noises. He laughs SO HARD. I think this is a laugh, a moment I am storing up for later in life. This is a memory, me and my boy, laughing so hard. I love any moment with my brother and Tash........oh my gosh, especially watching Glozell on YouTube talking about Subway..............or whipping her hair........or reminiscing about our childhood and telling stories about mom. THERE ARE SO MANY STORIES. And what's awesome is our children will have THE SAME STORIES..............I become more like mom every day and, well, Tash shares so many of the same characteristics.
Yeah, but those are fun. What about when LIFE is not FUN?
Create joy. Let yourself laugh when life is not fun. Again......JOY is a weapon. The enemy has been defeated...........death couldn't hold Him down...........lift your voice in victory...........make your praises LOUD. Again.........I look back, I look back to when Adalyn was born.........five days in Kansas City with my brother and Tash.........five days of LAUGHTER, TEARS, JOY, SORROW, LOVE, PRAISE. I remember going to the funeral home to pick out an urn with Matt and Tash.......feeling like kids doing the job of a grownup. It was so AWKWARD walking into this place because it was so unnatural. We walk into the room with BARRY (I kid you not the funeral director's name was BARRY) and there is a WALL OF URNS - it looked like a trophy display. Some had pictures, some had little statue things, all kinds, almost all ENTIRELY RIDICULOUS. We spent a few minutes feeling each other out and then I couldn't help it I started to laugh. REALLY HARD. Barry came back in and I had to pretend to be looking at the urns, Tash had her head down - Barry thought we were sobbing........which made me laugh harder, Matt was the only one to keep it together. He finally had to ask Barry to leave the room so we could have a moment...........for our, ummmm, sobbing to cease. We never did get it together. We laughed the entire time. It was ridiculous and inappropriate and SO MUCH FUN and is a memory created around Adalyn JOY, JOY in the face of tragedy. I remember, also, being at Adalyn's memorial service and standing with my family, arms around one another, the only ones standing, standing and praising and in doing so acknowledging that DEATH has not won THIS day. THIS day is the DAY OF THE LORD.
I think JOY is the ultimate letting go............................JOY is messy, it's in your face, it's LOUD, it's sometimes jarring because of it's inappropriateness, you want to look away because you think YOU SHOULD BE SAD AND BROKEN AND NOT BE JOYFUL. But then you look back, you want to know..........what does this person have that I don't...........where is that joy? Where does it come from?
The enemy's been defeated............death couldn't hold Him down............we're gonna lift our voice in victory...........gonna make our praises LOUD..............
Today lift your voice......in victory........with conviction..........with JOY.
Find a way to experience JOY.
After you throw the water...........just tell your husband it's my fault ;) Any revenge can be exacted on me............I'm a big girl.............with a BIG bucket :)
Really?
You want me to write inappropriate? Argh.
If you know me personally then you know that word is ENTIRELY appropriate.
Inappropriate seems to be a family trait. It encompasses my mom, my brother, his wife and I - all INAPPROPRIATE. The normal trophy was passed from my dad to Joe. Carry on, honey, carry on.............we are all depending on you. But here's the thing. When I was thinking of joy and how you find it I was trying to think of APPROPRIATE things because I wanted this to be a serious post about how you find your joy and how it's in the Lord and I wanted TO HELP and be a serious person.
NOPE, He said.
JOY IS INAPPROPRIATE.
Why? Because we live in a fallen and broken world. Like that roller coaster I talked about yesterday we never know what is coming around the next corner. All around us are stories of death, destruction, political divide, racism, divorce, joblessness, neglect, abandon.........so much more horror and tragedy. Joy would be inappropriate in the face of such things yet every day we face such things in our on lives, in our neighborhoods, in our churches, in our world.
BUT WE WILL BE JOYFUL.
Because we know. We know that happiness is based on circumstances. But JOY is based on who we know. JOY is based on a heart convicted of deep truths, hard truths. Truths that speak of a new world, a better world and finding a glimpse of it here as you carry Jesus with you. And Jesus brings JOY. And Jesus was the ultimate example of being inappropriate.
SO LET'S GET INAPPROPRIATE......
Joy is a weapon. A weapon against an enemy who seeks to rob you of your JOY. I have seen joyful faces in the midst of tragedy and I have wanted what they have. I wanted a conviction, a faith that would carry me through the darkest times with a face that reflected joy. I think of those people now and I think of the impact they had on my faith walk. They were steps on my journey to Jesus. They knew JOY. So when life becomes too hard, too much, too crippling.............dig deep, rise up and laugh in the face of what is being thrown your way.
HOW?
Remember how I said that JOY is inappropriate? Well, I thought about every laugh out loud moment I have had, the ones that really stick out in my mind...........they are all ENTIRELY inappropriate. THis might just be me but look back, look back in your life. What causes you to laugh out loud? Because here's the thing. We can know Jesus and we can have faith but then we need to be ok with laughing in the midst of tragedy. That goes against what seems right. And there are times when you need gravity and to be sensitive to those around you but I think we are scared to acknowledge JOY sometimes.
OK.........HOW?
My joy moments.................sitting at dinner and being overcome with the need to throw a glass of water in my husband's face. HE HATES THIS. But seriously, it brings me so much joy, I am seriously LAUGHING OUT LOUD RIGHT NOW. I have no idea what comes over me but I have done it quite a few times and it's even better when your kids are sitting there, UTTERLY HORRIFIED that their mother has just LOST ALL SENSE OF PROPRIETY and has just thrown a glass of water across the table at daddy. I love to wear the kid's underwear on my head and declare wars. We did this at Francesca's birthday party........girls vs. boys.......the grandmas, aunts and uncles all played too. I think there were 12 people crammed into the girls tiny room all throwing socks at each other with underwear on their heads while Uncle Vince videotaped it all and Aunt Colleen wondering what the heck she married into...........I am sure that Uncle Vince explained later that this is more a Kossler thing than a Codispoti thing and it shouldn't affect their life too much........or their children when they come. I love making fart noises with Nico-BIG, LOUD, WET fart noises. He laughs SO HARD. I think this is a laugh, a moment I am storing up for later in life. This is a memory, me and my boy, laughing so hard. I love any moment with my brother and Tash........oh my gosh, especially watching Glozell on YouTube talking about Subway..............or whipping her hair........or reminiscing about our childhood and telling stories about mom. THERE ARE SO MANY STORIES. And what's awesome is our children will have THE SAME STORIES..............I become more like mom every day and, well, Tash shares so many of the same characteristics.
Yeah, but those are fun. What about when LIFE is not FUN?
Create joy. Let yourself laugh when life is not fun. Again......JOY is a weapon. The enemy has been defeated...........death couldn't hold Him down...........lift your voice in victory...........make your praises LOUD. Again.........I look back, I look back to when Adalyn was born.........five days in Kansas City with my brother and Tash.........five days of LAUGHTER, TEARS, JOY, SORROW, LOVE, PRAISE. I remember going to the funeral home to pick out an urn with Matt and Tash.......feeling like kids doing the job of a grownup. It was so AWKWARD walking into this place because it was so unnatural. We walk into the room with BARRY (I kid you not the funeral director's name was BARRY) and there is a WALL OF URNS - it looked like a trophy display. Some had pictures, some had little statue things, all kinds, almost all ENTIRELY RIDICULOUS. We spent a few minutes feeling each other out and then I couldn't help it I started to laugh. REALLY HARD. Barry came back in and I had to pretend to be looking at the urns, Tash had her head down - Barry thought we were sobbing........which made me laugh harder, Matt was the only one to keep it together. He finally had to ask Barry to leave the room so we could have a moment...........for our, ummmm, sobbing to cease. We never did get it together. We laughed the entire time. It was ridiculous and inappropriate and SO MUCH FUN and is a memory created around Adalyn JOY, JOY in the face of tragedy. I remember, also, being at Adalyn's memorial service and standing with my family, arms around one another, the only ones standing, standing and praising and in doing so acknowledging that DEATH has not won THIS day. THIS day is the DAY OF THE LORD.
I think JOY is the ultimate letting go............................JOY is messy, it's in your face, it's LOUD, it's sometimes jarring because of it's inappropriateness, you want to look away because you think YOU SHOULD BE SAD AND BROKEN AND NOT BE JOYFUL. But then you look back, you want to know..........what does this person have that I don't...........where is that joy? Where does it come from?
The enemy's been defeated............death couldn't hold Him down............we're gonna lift our voice in victory...........gonna make our praises LOUD..............
Today lift your voice......in victory........with conviction..........with JOY.
Find a way to experience JOY.
After you throw the water...........just tell your husband it's my fault ;) Any revenge can be exacted on me............I'm a big girl.............with a BIG bucket :)
Thursday, October 11, 2012
The Ride
I remember going to Cedar Point just a few years ago and not wanting to ride roller coasters. As a kid I definitely wasn't a thrill-seeker or an avid roller coaster rider but I do remember the thrill of the Magnum. To me it was a straight forward, brilliant roller coaster - just straight up and then straight down again. I loved the build-up, the sense of fear and excitement, the thrill of going down and the rush that you felt. It was awesome.
I tried it a few years ago.
Didn't like it.
It was just terrifying and made me kind of queasy.
My roller coaster days are over, I think.
And I thought about that today as I was reading a book about roller coasters to my kids - all safely and warmly bundled up on our couch under blankets, eating pancakes. Why am I not a roller coaster person anymore? Have I gotten too old? Am I not fun anymore? Am I just a wimp?
And I think that it's because when you are young there is part of you that is always looking around the corner, wondering what is coming next and what BIG THING is going to happen. For the most part I, and the kids I knew, were safe, sheltered from what the world can bring, what it can seemingly, randomly deal out. Real tragedy, real fear was not a regular part of life. So it seemed no big deal to jump on a ride and to feel fear, to feel uncertainty, to feel the thrill of the unknown. It was exciting.
But now I know.
I know the thrill of getting married......................and staying married.
I know fear because I have birthed children and have watched them, with trepidation, grow and change and begin their walk away from me.
I know how far down my stomach can drop because I have heard the phone ring and I have listened as someone has to speak words out loud that should never be spoken.............all the while, thinking this can't be true, this can't be true. I am here cooking dinner, sleeping, playing with my children, just walking the steps of daily life and for someone else life has stopped.
I know the joy of walking with the Lord, of feeling His presence so closely that for a moment you are enveloped in the purest of Love. You think you never want to move, to even breath in that moment because you might break it.
I know the excitement of wearing underwear of my head and declaring war on the boys, sneaking around the house, hanging daddy's underwear all over the tree fort, spraying him with water and then RUNNING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE to the van and locking the doors..........waiting for the revenge, which is sure to come and that will SURELY BE COMPLETELY DISPROPORTIONATE to the crimes committed against him.
I know uncertainty because I have learned NOTHING is certain, peek all you want..........life can change in a flash. To be prepared always be aware that you are utterly unprepared.
So I think that as I have grown older that I don't need the manufactured emotions of the roller coaster. I live the roller coaster. To pay an incredible amount of money to be thrilled and scared and to feel my stomach drop, to know joy and excitement and uncertainty is just crazy.
As I grow older, I find I like the log ride :) A slow and gentle journey, carried along on ripples of water. One hill, a little splash and you have your whole family with you - nice and safe and happy and laughing. That's the ride for me. A little escapism for my money.
How 'bout you? What's your ride?
I tried it a few years ago.
Didn't like it.
It was just terrifying and made me kind of queasy.
My roller coaster days are over, I think.
And I thought about that today as I was reading a book about roller coasters to my kids - all safely and warmly bundled up on our couch under blankets, eating pancakes. Why am I not a roller coaster person anymore? Have I gotten too old? Am I not fun anymore? Am I just a wimp?
And I think that it's because when you are young there is part of you that is always looking around the corner, wondering what is coming next and what BIG THING is going to happen. For the most part I, and the kids I knew, were safe, sheltered from what the world can bring, what it can seemingly, randomly deal out. Real tragedy, real fear was not a regular part of life. So it seemed no big deal to jump on a ride and to feel fear, to feel uncertainty, to feel the thrill of the unknown. It was exciting.
But now I know.
I know the thrill of getting married......................and staying married.
I know fear because I have birthed children and have watched them, with trepidation, grow and change and begin their walk away from me.
I know how far down my stomach can drop because I have heard the phone ring and I have listened as someone has to speak words out loud that should never be spoken.............all the while, thinking this can't be true, this can't be true. I am here cooking dinner, sleeping, playing with my children, just walking the steps of daily life and for someone else life has stopped.
I know the joy of walking with the Lord, of feeling His presence so closely that for a moment you are enveloped in the purest of Love. You think you never want to move, to even breath in that moment because you might break it.
I know the excitement of wearing underwear of my head and declaring war on the boys, sneaking around the house, hanging daddy's underwear all over the tree fort, spraying him with water and then RUNNING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE to the van and locking the doors..........waiting for the revenge, which is sure to come and that will SURELY BE COMPLETELY DISPROPORTIONATE to the crimes committed against him.
I know uncertainty because I have learned NOTHING is certain, peek all you want..........life can change in a flash. To be prepared always be aware that you are utterly unprepared.
So I think that as I have grown older that I don't need the manufactured emotions of the roller coaster. I live the roller coaster. To pay an incredible amount of money to be thrilled and scared and to feel my stomach drop, to know joy and excitement and uncertainty is just crazy.
As I grow older, I find I like the log ride :) A slow and gentle journey, carried along on ripples of water. One hill, a little splash and you have your whole family with you - nice and safe and happy and laughing. That's the ride for me. A little escapism for my money.
How 'bout you? What's your ride?
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Even just STAND at the Door ;)
So the past week or so I have been really fixated on the fact that you just need to walk out your door to see who God has called you to serve, who you are to take the Good News to, even wrote a blog post about it..............no need to go finding people, God will bring them to you.
Walked into the bathroom tonight...........
Saw something taped on the mirror................
Hmmmm, it's one of the pages from the calendar that I made Joe for Christmas last year - bought a 365 day calendar and wrote movie quotes, questions, glued pictures, messages, etc. Wonder what one this is?
October 10th - Name three things I do that brighten your day. Write them down.
This is what he wrote first:
1. Meet me at the door.
BAM. Smacked me right in the face.
Ok, God. I get it.
I promise.
No more messing around. First things first, right? Love you, God. Love the fact that You can be as literal as the AWESOME husband you gave me.
Walked into the bathroom tonight...........
Saw something taped on the mirror................
Hmmmm, it's one of the pages from the calendar that I made Joe for Christmas last year - bought a 365 day calendar and wrote movie quotes, questions, glued pictures, messages, etc. Wonder what one this is?
October 10th - Name three things I do that brighten your day. Write them down.
This is what he wrote first:
1. Meet me at the door.
BAM. Smacked me right in the face.
Ok, God. I get it.
I promise.
No more messing around. First things first, right? Love you, God. Love the fact that You can be as literal as the AWESOME husband you gave me.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
What A Difference a Day Makes............
Yesterday I sat, sobbing, in a church................despairing for a baby, thoughts turning back a year, to a year when another baby lay still............after so much was hoped for, prayed for..........
Every time I lifted my voice in prayer it was with the strength and power of one who recognizes who God is and what God is capable of..............it was with the pain and heartache that comes with a life hanging in the balance, a little one that struggles to live on.........it was with fervent hope that I prayed life would continue................it was with love that I called upon the God that I love to save the one that I know He loves.............but never was it with JOY.
But today is different.
Today I sat with people that know and love God and I heard from them and I heard from Him and
THE WORD OF THIS DAY IS JOY.
Tonight I come before the Lord, not sobbing, not despairing but with a COMPLETE and TOTAL JOY that defies the reality of tubes and machinery and MRIs and the need for a Ronald McDonald house and I say to you, Lord, thank you for this life. Thank you for this baby. Thank you for bestowing us with the gift that is Owen, Lord.
I allow laughter and joy and giggles and praise to come from my lips.
I am celebrating this child and the God that gave him to two such wonderful parents, loving parents, parents who have known the joy that this child brings.
And tonight I pray that JOY is spread throughout the rooms, the corridors, the hearts of the people in the Cleveland Clinic. I pray that they experience an audible whooshing sound as it powerfully flows throughout the entire hospital. I pray that the results are tangible and unexplainable and real. That the JOY of the Lord is brought to this place through Owen and those that this precious babe have brought to this place.
Let laughter ring out.
Let praise ring out, not lofty and obligated praise but praise unfiltered.
Let JOY ERUPT.
Because in the face of those MRIs, those tubes and every horrific, awful thing you hear in such a place.................we can have joy. It's possible. Because we know, huh? We know. This isn't it. Far from it. We can look all these things straight in the eye and know..........no matter what happens. Bring it on, the force of JOY is at work..............push back the enemy.
JOY WINS.
LOVE WINS.
THE BATTLE IS WON.
Adalyn Joy Kossler................thank you for always reminding me...........it took me a little while.......I was focusing on just the first part of your story............and forgetting the JOY.
Every time I lifted my voice in prayer it was with the strength and power of one who recognizes who God is and what God is capable of..............it was with the pain and heartache that comes with a life hanging in the balance, a little one that struggles to live on.........it was with fervent hope that I prayed life would continue................it was with love that I called upon the God that I love to save the one that I know He loves.............but never was it with JOY.
But today is different.
Today I sat with people that know and love God and I heard from them and I heard from Him and
THE WORD OF THIS DAY IS JOY.
Tonight I come before the Lord, not sobbing, not despairing but with a COMPLETE and TOTAL JOY that defies the reality of tubes and machinery and MRIs and the need for a Ronald McDonald house and I say to you, Lord, thank you for this life. Thank you for this baby. Thank you for bestowing us with the gift that is Owen, Lord.
I allow laughter and joy and giggles and praise to come from my lips.
I am celebrating this child and the God that gave him to two such wonderful parents, loving parents, parents who have known the joy that this child brings.
And tonight I pray that JOY is spread throughout the rooms, the corridors, the hearts of the people in the Cleveland Clinic. I pray that they experience an audible whooshing sound as it powerfully flows throughout the entire hospital. I pray that the results are tangible and unexplainable and real. That the JOY of the Lord is brought to this place through Owen and those that this precious babe have brought to this place.
Let laughter ring out.
Let praise ring out, not lofty and obligated praise but praise unfiltered.
Let JOY ERUPT.
Because in the face of those MRIs, those tubes and every horrific, awful thing you hear in such a place.................we can have joy. It's possible. Because we know, huh? We know. This isn't it. Far from it. We can look all these things straight in the eye and know..........no matter what happens. Bring it on, the force of JOY is at work..............push back the enemy.
JOY WINS.
LOVE WINS.
THE BATTLE IS WON.
Adalyn Joy Kossler................thank you for always reminding me...........it took me a little while.......I was focusing on just the first part of your story............and forgetting the JOY.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Every life, every breathe
Every life, every breathe has meaning............from the ninety year old woman who has seen it all to the nine day old baby who has everything yet to behold.
Every life, every breathe is a sacred thing............each one scripted by One who knows best, who knows better than we.
Every life, every breathe has been written, is already known...........when we try to make sense of each little moment, each hurt, each joy, each happening we take away the mystery that is God.
I have no idea why most anything happens.
I sometimes wish I did.
Tonight I sat in a sacred space and my chest heaved, my mouth opened trying to gasp for breathe, tears were flowing down my face. There was a bubble of pain that was threatening to burst within my heart, within my body. I tried not to make a sound........just sitting, kneeling on the floor of the sanctuary........and He was there.
He knows.
He knows our questions and our rage and our aches and our wonderings and our pain and He is there.
He is the Rock.
The Rock that we can scrunch up our fists and punch like mad, we can beat against Him, rail against Him and say WHY, WHY, WHY?
And He takes it. He can take it.
He is our Rock.
And all the while we are raging and crying out and questioning............He comes. He is there. You can feel it. And maybe that is the thing that causes me finally to make a sound, the opening for it all to come forth. He is there. Because despite the not knowing, despite the seemingly randomness of life...............there is one thing I know.
Jesus Is Lord.
And that's enough.
I trust in that promise. I trust one day I will see Him and all will be answered.
But for now..................every life, every breathe is sacred.
Hear our prayers, O God................our voices we lift to You...........our trust we give to You...........
Every life, every breathe is a sacred thing............each one scripted by One who knows best, who knows better than we.
Every life, every breathe has been written, is already known...........when we try to make sense of each little moment, each hurt, each joy, each happening we take away the mystery that is God.
I have no idea why most anything happens.
I sometimes wish I did.
Tonight I sat in a sacred space and my chest heaved, my mouth opened trying to gasp for breathe, tears were flowing down my face. There was a bubble of pain that was threatening to burst within my heart, within my body. I tried not to make a sound........just sitting, kneeling on the floor of the sanctuary........and He was there.
He knows.
He knows our questions and our rage and our aches and our wonderings and our pain and He is there.
He is the Rock.
The Rock that we can scrunch up our fists and punch like mad, we can beat against Him, rail against Him and say WHY, WHY, WHY?
And He takes it. He can take it.
He is our Rock.
And all the while we are raging and crying out and questioning............He comes. He is there. You can feel it. And maybe that is the thing that causes me finally to make a sound, the opening for it all to come forth. He is there. Because despite the not knowing, despite the seemingly randomness of life...............there is one thing I know.
Jesus Is Lord.
And that's enough.
I trust in that promise. I trust one day I will see Him and all will be answered.
But for now..................every life, every breathe is sacred.
Hear our prayers, O God................our voices we lift to You...........our trust we give to You...........
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