I feel the need to preface this by saying we err on the conservative side when it comes to language (with the exception of thinking gross words are funny :), movies we show to our kids, computer time, video games (we don't have a system but Nico LOVES playing with friends and I know the day is coming for this technophobe mama), etc. All this to say:
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
Francesca and I are playing Candyland the other day (FOR THE 100TH TIME THAT WEEK - I kid you not, this child will play Candyland OVER and OVER and OVER again. It's actually pretty awesome to sit at the table and sip coffee, though. Can't REALLY complain......it is about 1000 TIMES BETTER than playing "dog" which is her other FAVORITE thing in the world. I have to "buy" her from under the kitchen table. Then I have to feed her, walk her, pet her, put her to bed, make her a cage, etc. It pretty much reinforces our FIRM, ROCK HARD decision to NEVER, EVER get a dog, though - they require SO MUCH CARE......and I don't even have to clean up Francesca's poop so I have it EASY when we play dog).....ANYWAY......we were playing Candyland and in her sweet and funny voice she says to me:
"I am going to rip you eyeballs and shove them in your mouth."
Ummmm, excuse me?
"I'm going to rip your eyeballs and shove them in your mouth, mama."
Shocked silence.
Oh my word.
I am not sure where even to begin.
Processing all the people that I WOULD DIE if she said this to.......meanwhile texting Liga the exact words my child said to me because part of me thinks this is HILARIOUS.
Mumble, mumble, some words about how we should NEVER, EVER, EVER say things like this and WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GET THIS FROM?!?
The Candyland game goes on.
Then today:
"Mama, I am going to take your head and shove it down your throat."
FRANCESCA!!! NO!!! You are NOT allowed to say things like that!! Please. No more. Where do you get this from?!?
"I just teasin' mama. I just kiddin'."
Well, no more teasing or kidding and a few more things said after that.....................
Remember my post "My Adventure".....well, this one HAS been different. And how I love her so. That spunk, that certainty, that fire all in this little one......and thankfully, she told me the other day that she is not getting married because she doesn't like the kissing :) So don't worry mamas.....your boys are safe ............................. for now :)
And please know...........I hesitated for quite awhile before posting this. Wondering if we live in a world, a time where blond little girls holding nerf guns and a grimace on their face were still cute and funny. Wondering if my spunky little girl with a wild imagination was not, in fact, funny but an indication of dark times and dark things. I wondered if it was time to shelve the nerf guns, to shelve making light of the words of little ones who are discovering new words and new ways to get the attention of the big ones they love and live with. And I came to the conclusion that for now innocence prevails. That laughter and light reign. That blond little girls with fierce expressions are looking to engage their daddies and their brothers and not an enemy. I KNOW who the enemy is. And the enemy is where joy is, threatening to take it away. The enemy is where laughter is, threatening to take it away. The enemy is where light is, wanting to envelop it but NEVER being able to. And so in the face of and in the weeks after such darkness, such terror, such horror.........I cling to the light. I cling to the joy. I cling to the innocence. I cling to the cross. And I find joy. I find laughter. I find LIGHT in the moments given to me. My prayer is that the families everywhere find moments, brief slivers of time where light begins to poke through the darkness.......even for a moment.
What has been your "moment" this past week?
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