Sometimes I Just Want to Hit the Pause Button....

These days of digging holes big enough to stand in,

Of clowning around with a sister that gives dirty looks,

Or simply eating out of doors and not caring that most of the meal ended up on your face.......

Even these days of sagging diapers and dirty feet,

the days filled with creating and pretend baking,

And, oh, the sweet laughter of a giggling boy........

I want to just soak these days in, it's almost an ache at times, how much I want to slow this time down.

I wonder if they can even guess how much I love them, how I could just watch them forever, paused in this moment of baby teeth, fly away hair and messiness.

I want to remember this time of tattoos on hands, every toenail a different color and jammies at a bonfire............

And how much sweeter it is when there are three, all scrunched up in giggles and love......

 Is there a pause button?  Can there be........maybe, for a moment?

I am afraid my heart can't take all this growing up, growing older and all those small steps towards walking out on their own.............