Well……SOMETIMES I Can't…... ;)

So………..here's the thing……..remember my THING with banks?

Well, I kind of have a thing with car dealerships/repair places, too.

They overwhelm me.  I don't get the terminology.  I don't care to…….I would drive my car until it stopped running if it were up to me.  Noises?  Don't hear them.  Red lights?  Don't see them.  Stops and starts, resistance?  Don't feel it.

Now this is not the RIGHT way to be, I am just explaining ME.  How I am.

Again.

Not the RIGHT way.

Also?  I get lost.  EVERY. SINGLE. DANG. TIME.

Why do I still go?

Oh the comfy couches, the coffee, the stillness, the peace, the wifi, it's just really a fabulous place to be.

Seriously.

So today………I WAS PREPARED.  Today was the day.  I was going to have an awesome car shop experience.

Yeah, not really.

It started off well.  Joe put my car keys on top of the coupon and paperwork that I was suppose to take. He had a list of things that needed to done written out.  He said NUMEROUS times….so you will have to look up the directions to get there, ok?  Ok?  Yeah, whatever.  Got it taken care of……..who CAN'T look up directions?  How condescending…………

Ummmmm.  So yeah.

It turns out I CAN look up directions………..just not the right ones.

I am driving up to Akron and I am thinking there is just not something right about it but maybe mapquest was taking me the back way………(like there is such a thing.  Yes, mapquest…..I would like to take the BACK way today)  Anyway, while nothing looked familiar I had utmost confidence in my directions and my ability to get there……because I LOOKED UP THE DIRECTIONS.

My confidence wained as I pulled into a COMPLETELY unfamiliar parking lot.

I COULD. NOT. BELIEVE. IT.

I got out of my car and went in and tried to explain to the girl that I was pretty sure that I was at the wrong place but that my husband made the appointment and reminded me to GET DIRECTIONS.  WHICH I DID…….using the coupon he left.  So maybe I was at the right place?

Wrong.

She referred me to another guy where I had to explain my story again and he was gracious enough to print out MORE directions to the rightful Vandevere where we always go.  You would have thought I would recognize the street name and realize that I was getting directions to the wrong place….but then YOU would be wrong, too :)

So I get BACK in the car and attempt to follow the directions………..one wrong veer later on those GODFORSAKEN highways in Akron and I am LOST.  The trip that according to MAPQUEST was supposed to take 9 minutes has now reached far beyond that estimate.

Throughout this whole ordeal I am calling/texting Liga and she sends me directions (even after I tell her that I am fine that I, miraculously, found the road I was suppose to take…..all roads seem to lead to 77 at some point….., she sends me directions.  Which turned out to be a BRILLIANT move on her part because I did INDEED get lost again).

I eventually make it to the RIGHT car shop and I succinctly explain why I was a tid bit late (yes, apparently it takes SOME PEOPLE over an hour to get from Canton to Akron).

And then comes the part of every visit that requires a great amount of dignity………..where I look that car shop man right in the eye and…….

Hand him the sheet of instructions from my husband.

What's even better is when he asks for clarification on some of the things and I just stare back.

Ummmmm……….what's on the sheet?  Then that.  WHATEVER IS ON THE SHEET.

Finally I am released to the couches and my diet coke and my computer.

It's awesome.  I fall under the car shop spell for over 2 hours as I catch up on e-mails and write a blog post.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and it's time to go.  I pay and then he asks me is there anything more I can help you with?

Ummmm, yes.

How do I get home?

Now it's his turn to stare at me……..where are you from?

I have to get back to Canton, I tell him.  He gives me directions and I am on my way.

And I actually am on the RIGHT way…….what a relief.

Then the phone rings.

Hmmmm……I pick it up.

It's Mike from the car shop.

I immediately say OH MY GOSH DID I LEAVE MY COMPUTER THERE?  MY PURSE?  WHAT DID I LEAVE THERE?

I hear a chuckle.

No, he says.  We just have the wrong paperwork, we need to exchange papers.

I say, Mike is there ANY WAY we can do this without me having to find you again because I don't think that I can.

Well, apparently, Mike is the NICEST car shop man in the world because he is bringing the papers to me.  It turns out that he has a funeral just south of Massillon today and if I still reside at the address on my paperwork then he can just bring them to the house.  I just need to leave the papers in the mailbox for him.  Oh and, he says, if you see a white Sedona pulling into the driveway don't be worried it's just him and he will just drop them in the mailbox.

Well, THANK YOU MIKE.

You have made a Vandevere shopper out of me for life!

YES.

Psssst.

Psssst.

Yeah.  I am talking to YOU, again.

I just wanted you to know I AM SO EXCITED.  I can hardly stand it.

Really.

You see.........well, there is ALL THIS STUFF going down in my my life and in my tiny part of the world and I have ALL THESE IDEAS.

(This is when if you are the YOU that is living around me, you start getting a bit scared :)

And I kind of just wanted to see if  YOU had any ideas or thoughts or dreams that you are dreaming....

Because you see I have been SO BLESSED.

I was born into a family where my parents, from day one, have told me that I CAN DO ANYTHING.  I mean I knew that I couldn't.  I knew that I wasn't going to take the world by storm with my swimming, singing, acting, academics, beauty, etc.  I mean I knew that.

But they seemed to have NO IDEA.

And so the idea was planted in ME that........well, maybe?  Maybe I can?

Then I met along the way a few friends........in college, on the streets of SW Canton :), in a Village....and, for some reason, they thought I was AWESOME.  I was built up.  I was loved.  I was encouraged.  And oh, my friends?  We ALWAYS laugh.......and I learned that life was good and people outside of my family could love me fully, too.

And I thought.....yes?  A small, maybe-filled yes I can....but what?

Then I met my love.  And part of discovering the true love of my life is that he looked at my with eyes that didn't want to change rather they wanted to cherish.   In loving me, he gave me the confidence to believe in who I was, in what I could do.  He thought I was AMAZING and at that point.......well, who was I to disagree?

And so my yes, I can became a bit louder.  I began to allow the dreams and the thoughts and the ideas to be verbalized.  I began to write.  I began to say silly things, impossible things because.....well, maybe?

And somewhere in the midst of the family foundation and the friends and the love, I found a Father.  A Father who, with words and with experiences and through His people, began to show me what HE saw when he looked upon His daughter.   And He showed me that all things are possible but maybe not quite in the way that I thought they are.  That "all things being possible" isn't a free pass to heal every disease, to end every hardship, to make all things exactly as we want them but maybe it's more complicated than that, more mysterious, more giving us the freedom to dream and imagine and then do..........I don't know exactly.  But I do know that He took that gift that my parents, my friends, my love gave me  - that belief, that love, that knowledge of who I was - and He turned my small, timid yes into.......

YES, YES I CAN!!!   All those dreams and ideas and thoughts and imaginings..........well, I don't know if they will happen or come about but I am not going to let them die in my head, in my heart.

AND I DON'T WANT YOUR IDEAS AND DREAMS AND THOUGHTS TO GET TRAPPED AND DIE BEFORE THEY EVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.

Failure not an option?

THAT IS CRAP.

Failure is never even trying.

Failure is thinking you can't.

Failure is not recognizing dreams and ideas and thoughts as life and possibility and beginnings.

Failure is thinking you are not good enough.

Failure is giving up the dreaming just because you aren't in a season when you can DO.

Failure is letting your NO be louder than your YES.

Failure is missing opportunities to tell others YES to their ideas and dreams.

You WILL make mistakes.

You WILL have to try again.....and again......and again.....and then again.

You WILL have to keep saying yes.

You WILL do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing.

You WILL be made stronger though trials and hardships and discomfort.

BUT......BUT.....it doesn't mean that you have FAILED.

And so today I want you to know that I BELIEVE in your dreams and your craziness and the words that God whispers to your heart but you are quick to dismiss because too many people have said NO to you or told you things about yourself that just aren't true.

YES.

YOU CAN.

Oh and........by the way............this is kind of a dangerous road to get on......because you see?

Your dreams?

Your ideas?

Your thoughts?

Ummm.......well, once you start?  Once you find your voice and you take a step?

Well, there's the next step and the next step and the next and one day you will find yourself in a place that goes WELL BEYOND your dreams and your thoughts and your ideas and you will wonder HOW ON EARTH DID I GET HERE?

And you will look back and realize it all started with an inkling of that thought that formed in your mind when you first said YES.

So..............will you say YES?