Friday, April 12, 2013

Letting Go

There is a moment in every day where I get a bit choked up, I feel amazement and wonder and awe.  And I know that sometimes my thoughts and who I am is a bit much, a bit tedious because of all thoughts that fill my head in the most ordinary of moments.  But so often I find it to be such a gift to witness beauty in the ordinary things of life, the many moments that pass through our days.

And so every day at the school drop off there is a moment where a lump forms in my throat because I am a witness to the extraordinary act of letting go.

And I think...........look at these brave parents.  I see those who are on their way to work, dressed in the clothes of the working world - sprayed, polished and pressed.  Sometimes they are rushing in, rushing up - hurrying to get their little ones in the door so they may go in their own door, many miles away.

I see moms still in sweats, occasionally even pajamas, hair piled on top of their heads or behind.  There is little polish or shine to these women as they pull up but we've all been there and I am the last to judge on this front.  Many times the siblings are talking or crying or laughing or sleeping in the minivans as these moms rush in and up.

I see dads give hugs and high fives, looking long after the child has started to walk off.  Anyone who thinks dads are more apt to let go easily has not been witness to a morning drop-off.  They are not immune to the sight of big backpacks overtaking young children as they skip or trudge off to start their day.

I see so much love.  I see hope.  I see fear.  I see anger and frustration.  I see laughter.  I see trust.  I see gentle touches and lingering good-byes.

And I hard this is - this every day letting go.

Every day is a day gone by, a day of growing up, growing out, growing away.

I always wait and look.

My eyes following the backpack cradled on the back of the one I love.

My gaze lingers as I watch her walk up the school sidewalk and into the doors.

I try never to leave the school parking lot without taking one last look.

I am so proud of her.

I see how brave she is.

I see how beautiful she is.

I see how she will change her world because of her kindness, her gentle ways.

I see how much she is not mine.

She is not mine to cradle and keep.

She is not mine to protect from every little hurt.

She is not mine to cling to.

She is not mine.

She belongs to Him.

And I know that I am her home and her safe place and her place of love and her place of trust but she is not mine to keep forever.

And so every day there is a moment.........the moment where I acknowledge the letting go, the moment where I acknowledge that she is not mine, the daily evidence of her growing up, growing out and growing away.

And so every day at the school drop off there is that moment where a lump forms in my throat because I am witnessing the extraordinary act of all those parents letting go and the extraordinary children that are learning to walk on their own in this world.

How blessed I am to be a witness to something so extraordinary every single day of the week.

How I love to watch those brave parents and those brave children in the act of letting go.

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