Sometimes you can get caught up in so many things, so many people and you forget.
You forget what makes your heart beat stronger, what joy looks like, what causes you relax into life.
You just get caught up.
Sometimes I worry that our children don't know, can't realize how much we love them, how much we treasure who they are and work to ensure that they know that home is a safe and loving place. I count the minutes that we are away from them or working or preparing as minutes lost, at times. It's hard to find the balance as a mom who once spent every minute with her children as they move on and into lives at school and at dance and soccer and having lives of their own, lived out in their imaginations as they play school and store and all manner of things. And I wonder.......do they know?
And last night, after many long weekends and many nights filled with activity and a roller coaster of a weekend, I found myself in bed with my three babes. We curled up, cuddled up amid the blankets and the pillows........and my heart beat stronger, I remembered what joy looked like and I relaxed into my life.
And better yet I got to hear JOY..........in the words of my girl.
And I thought............they know.
This is what Fia chose to read last night at bed. It's a story she wrote in school where they had to write about a time you had fun at an outdoor place.
"What makes me happy is seeing my family in the backyard. We hear screaming alot. Me and my family sleep outside in a tent. Reading with mom is fun in the backyard. I love to swing underneath the monkey bars. My mom and I like to do homework in the backyard. Me and my sister and brother play in the treefort outside. It is fun at home with my family. Everyone loves to see my grades and Nicos grades. We like to watch the birds and listen to the birds. It is exciting outside with my brother and sister. I help my mom with the strawberry jam and planting with Dad and picking carrots. Rassberrys blueberries tomatoes and beans. Friends come over and we love to play and climb on the treefort and swing on the tire swing. It is fun in the backyard."
Oh my girl. After a summer spent outside and on the go - trips to camp, amusement parks, family vacations and more - this is what you write about. And I think, yes. Me too, my girl, me too. Home is always the best place, the happiest place.
Thank you for reminding me what matters.
And this morning my heart is beating stronger, joy is in place and I am beginning to relax back into life.
Thank you, Lord, for these children that you have given to me. They remind me every day not to look down on anyone because they are young. It is through them that you speak so clearly to my heart.
Breathing deep and feeling grateful today.