Ryan Was Right .......

Last night we were with three other couples - all newly formed or forming families................it's so fun to see and be part of families at the beginning.  To know adults before parenthood sets in, to journey with them and see who they become.  It's been interesting to be the first ones in some ways - the first to go through so many milestones and to be the first with more than just one.....there was much talk last night of pregnancy, of sleeping and lives changing.  There was much discussion of what to do and how you survive and what is it REALLY like................

How on earth do you prepare yourself for those first brutal few weeks of waking ALL THE TIME?  There is no night and day, just one long endless feeding...............

The couple with the newest baby and all the rest of us assured you just do it.  You adjust, you get use to it.  You become people who don't sleep and you marvel at how you are able to keep your head up and still accomplish things and get through life.

But amidst all this talk the one without the children, without the babies, the one still who sleeps probably said the best words.  The words that still ring true today as I parent............

I would imagine you also just follow your instincts.  You trust your gut.

Yep.

I think that's what you have to do.

We are a world bombarded with information, with opinions, with absolutes depending on are you a crunchy mom or silky mom.  It's so hard to know what's right and what's going to permanently HARM YOUR BABY FOR LIFE.  So when you are a new mom with little sleep, hormones that are acting a little crazy, your first babe in arms you want to just do what is just right......and there are so many books, people, blogs that will tell you just what that is........according to them.  My advice to new moms is to do what you gotta do to survive.  Trust your instinct.  You know the things you SHOULD NEVER, EVER do - no sleeping on the stomach, don't leave your baby on the changing table, etc.  The rest is up to you and your baby and what it takes to survive those first brutal weeks.

I was petrified with Sofia of doing the WRONG thing - what would people say - ah the horror!  What if they saw me with a bottle?  What if they saw her crying?  What if she wasn't on a schedule?  What if she wouldn't sleeping in her crib?  What if? What if? What if?

After we didn't ruin Sofia for life and we survived her infancy I was more relaxed about the next few, at least, relaxed in the fact that I thought we did ok.  We knew what we were doing for our babies, that what we did worked for us.  For the most part, she did sleep always in her crib.  We swaddled for months and months.  We didn't change her diaper that often at night (though Joe says we did but I know there were many nights we did not - when they start sleeping through the night they lay in that thing for HOURS AND HOURS - so there is nothing wrong with not changing every time when they are getting up more frequently).  We tried to give a little bit more breastmilk in a bottle at the last feeding to try to stretch that first hour of sleep during the night.  With Nico, he slept in a bouncy chair for the first few months of life (what a life saver that was!) but he was still in the crib.  Binkies were used and used with fervor!  We had 20 stashed around the house by the time Nico was here (And Fia used hers until her FOURTH BIRTHDAY - judge if you will, Francesca never took one).

So new moms, do what you have to do and trust your instinct.  Learn to get some sleep and some time for yourself, however that looks.  If to you that means holding your baby while they sleep and watching some tv, just do it.  If that means having your husband do the last feeding with a bottle of formula  before bed, just do it.  If that means driving around town with your sleeping baby in the back of the car and grabbing a coke and sitting in the parking lot of Burger King for some peace and quiet, just do it.

Survival looks different to everyone.......and what a miracle that we all do survive and so do our children :)

Rainy Day Procrastination.....

So I had all kinds of plans to clean up that Popsicle mess in the car and to take the recycling to where it belongs.........but it's raining.  I can't possible go out in the rain and do that sort of thing so we went for a walk in the rain instead with our umbrellas and boots - such fun.  I love to see Nico's expression as he jumps into the biggest puddle and splashes water all over himself.  It's as if he thinks he is getting away with something so incredibly naughty but his mom is RIGHT THERE laughing with him too.

On this rainy day I thought you might enjoy reading one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE blog posts.  I am loathe to share this link with you because this mom is so HILARIOUS and true and just downright honest in a world that sometimes lends itself to extremes (I breastfed for TWO YEARS, I NEVER let my child watch tv, I only serve ORGANIC, FRESH FROM THE FARM food to my child, etc., etc.  It's something us moms do to ourselves, I swear.  And I applaud all these things, by the way, if you do them.  I am impressed and I think they are good things.  I am just saying sometimes we do the right things for the wrong reasons or look down on others who don't operate the same way we do.  I do it too....babies in slings make me twitch.  I have no idea why other than it's something that I could/would never do.  I want my babies in a crib when they are sleeping - don't hate me babywearers...., away from me so I can get a moment of peace and quiet.  I say this knowing I have dear friends who use slings - I love you, I love your children, they are amazing - I am the weird one.  Did I just write a WHOLE PARAGRAPH in parentheses?  Is that allowed?)  anyway I fear you might not stop by Mommy Moments anymore and who would I have to talk to in my head all day long?  But, alas, she is too good not to share and I can always pretend that I have readers.  Check her out here.  The funniest and truest line?


 TV IS YOUR FRIEND. Not only your friend, your lover.


Oh and the other favorite post here.  


Happy Rainy Monday!  Tomorrow will have to be Take Control of your Trashy Transportation Tuesday.....................

For Melissa

Many years ago, BEFORE I HAD CHILDREN, I got into my stepmother-in-law's car - it was covered in kid stuff.  There were some crumbs, some toys, etc.  I thought to myself - oh my WHEN I HAVE KIDS I will never let my car look like this........(I have NO IDEA why I thought this because I do not have a reputation for being the most organized, clean person....I think I was in my I will be a better parent THAN ANYONE ELSE EVER HAS BEEN phase - which ended about two minutes after I got home with my screaming bundle of joy and started sobbing because I thought my life was over - THAT was a parent of the year type of moment.......)

So this is for Melissa and because, well, motherhood is nothing if not humbling..............

A popsicle from Fia's trip to the ER

A sticker left on the window from a Border's story time 2 years ago

Nico's cup holders

Recycling put in the car a week ago - now just tossed from place to place
in order to get the kids in the car

Francesca's teddy, some spoon wrappers from Wendy's Jr frosty cups
 Thanks to Bekah for those coupon books!

The trunk where I dumped all the other recycling a week ago because I needed a container for our milk
(We get milk from a local farm and it comes in these big glass jars)

Have a good week everyone!!  Next time I write here I hope to have been shamed into cleaning this incredible mess - at least the grape popsicle melting all over the car :)

On The Path to Greatness ;)

This past week and, to be honest, it's an ongoing struggle of mine I have been thinking about how God wants me to use this life He has given me.  How can I pour out blessings to others?  How can I be used to love?  You all had such wonderful words for me and gave me much to think about......

And it did cause me to think.

It caused me to think about what is put before me.  What did God give me?  How did He pour out blessings on me?  And it always, always comes back to the same thing for me, for my path that God has put me on.......

My home.  My family.  My husband.  My children.

This is where God wants me to serve.  In my own home.

I have been so lucky that I have been able to do that and in the past few weeks I have seen so many instances in which I have been able to use my home, my family, my time to serve others.  (I was talking about this to one of my friends who happens to be male and he brings his boys over for playdates and often eats here........he asked if he was one of my ways of serving, a mission so to speak, oh and his wife works across the hall from Joe :)

But, well, I have been neglecting an area - an important one, in this age of divorce and the general breakdown of the family.........

My poor husband.  The last to get loved on.  The first to get piled on.  How can I worry about the orphans in Uganda or Ecuador when there is a man here that is not being loved on?  How can I worry about the people down the street or the hungry downtown, if there is one in my own home not being served?

My, oh my.......how God opened my eyes to what was before me, my first love, the one who should be loved first and foremost after Him.

Joe and I have a good, solid marriage.  I would even say that we have a great marriage but I have been slacking.  The inside of our cupboards have notes that we wrote each other...once upon a time before there were 3 little ones - they were still being written with two but seemed to drop off when the third arrived.   There used to be quite regular date nights but, well, it's hard when it seems there are so many things that come before date nights.  I think it is time to step it up, to get creative, to get inspired.

This site helped to kick things off today: http://www.thedatingdivas.com/

It is awesome!  How timely it was to find these ladies.  This morning the little ones and I put together a basket filled with new pajama pants, popcorn, mugs, hot chocolate and a movie from redbox.  We dropped it off at Joe's school with a note saying "Baby, It's Cold Outside" and then on the inside I wrote to meet me in front of the fire at 8:30 for snacks, hot drinks and some cuddlin'......

We came home and found some old white lights from Christmas and hung them around the living room and cut out snowflakes and hung those from the ceiling.  We added some other little touches here and there to make it feel more cozy, a bit different from the usual.  All in all I think it looks quite nice, a little winter wonderland.  It was cheap, easy and the kids could help.

There will be more dates in the future, more romantic gestures.  God put on my heart to love the ones He put in front of me.  That love will be further poured out on those around us.  To be an example of His love to my husband, to give that example to my children..........it's part of what He has called me to do.

Luckily, my man makes it easy to love...................kisses to you, babe.

Random Question of The Day #2

So last week I asked who you would like to go to the dance with......Johnny Castle, Ren McCormack or Danny Zuko.......five of you answered. I met my quota. However, almost all of you answered wrong and were I giving a prize away it would go to Meghan - who correctly answered with Ren. I mean the soundtrack, that dance scene and, really, it's Kevin Bacon and he's been married FOREVER and seems to be just a really nice person. However, I was just asking for your opinion and I should be accepting of whatever answer you gave......because it is how you feel and you can't help it if you are blinded by a six pack and a good tan.

This week I am wondering which Golden Girl are you most like?

A. Sophia

B. Rose

C. Blanche

D. Dorothy


Now you MUST BE HONEST. Frankly there are the cool Golden Girls and then the not so cool Golden Girls. It saddens me that I am not one of the cool ones. I was secretly hoping that maybe, maybe I was one of the cool ones but I yelled to Joe to tell me which one he thought I was and WITH NO HESITATION he named the exact one I was thinking.

Oh well.

Golden Girls is classic in our house - we have the dvds, Matt, Joe and I can all quote favorite lines and have favorite episodes. Here is a favorite.......when she smashes that hotdog I almost pee myself EVERY SINGLE TIME.

So which is it ladies? Are you a Rose, Dorothy, Sophia or Blanche?

Mat Envy

I think it has happened.

I have reached that age where you can't just eat right for a few days and magically go down to your "comfortable" weight. Notice I did not say ideal weight or Jennifer Aniston weight but your comfortable weight.

I went over my limit the other week. That number that says WHOA SISTER! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! - that number. I thought, ok. I can deal with it. No biggie. I will just be a bit more careful about what I eat.

Still there.

This is not good. I am now part of a family where EVERY FEMALE is small. My mother-in-law birthed 6 children and is still sporting a single digit pant size. My step mother-in-law, well let's not even go there - she is a yoga instructor, people. Small doesn't even begin to describe her size. And it's not just that she is small but she is "toned". We can go out further to my sister-in-laws, the cousins, the aunts, everyone..........it's like I entered the land of the little people.......well, except they aren't THAT short, just thin.

So I feel the need to reign myself in. For Ashley's sake I feel the need to say I don't think I am fat or anything, my pants still fit, etc. But I need to get below that number once again or I feel as if I could just spiral out of control - just a few pounds and I am good.

It was time to bring in the big guns - that's right, the 30 DAY SHRED. It's really quite magical. The last time I did it I was over that number after having birthed my third AND LAST FROM MY WOMB child. I did it for the month, lost 5 pounds and was done - I moved on.

Jillian Michaels is now back in my life and I dislike her as much as I did the last time - it seems she reads my mind each time I do the workout and screams at me to not give up, don't turn off the tv, it's only 20 minutes. I KNOW JILLIAN BUT I COULD BE READING OR WATCHING MY HULU RIGHT NOW..........

Instead I grit my teeth and swear that I will lose those pounds and never see her again.

My children all enjoy this too.

Nico said the other day he loves when the girls all take their clothes off and exercise. The ones in the back can't talk but the one in front can. (Seriously, next time I go to the library I will HAVE to check out some books on Eleanor Roosevelt, Geraldine Ferraro and other noteworthy women.......)

Fia likes to do some of the exercises with me and at one point said oh mom I bet you wish you were like them. OH MY WORD! NO! Please don't tell me my baby thinks that women have to look exactly like that. Oh no I will have to never do this video again......breathe, breathe, breathe.......ok....why honey? (Very calm now) Why do you think mommy would like to be like them?

Because they have mats and you don't.

Oh.

Yes, exactly, mommy wishes she had...........a mat. Just like those girls.

Oh, How He Loves.......

One of the other things that wonderful preacher man mentioned Sunday night was that when we think we are going to go out and do something for God or love in His name.......God sits back and says, ok, but look at what I am going to do for YOU.

So when I wrote my post yesterday wondering what I was going to do for God and how I was going to love in His name.......

blessings poured forth..........

He showered me with a love that far surpassed anything I could give.  Your words, your prayers reached my heart.  I spent so much of the morning weepy and thankful and feeling oh so loved by you all.   I drank in His goodness, your goodness, your words that penetrated my heart allowing me to feel His love, His rejoicing in my life.

I was reminded, once again, that He has placed me right where He wants me to be and in yearning for more I overlook what is placed in front of me.

Thank you for loving me.