Priorities

The other day the smoke alarm went off (my stove top had an eensy-weensy bit of something caked on the burner) when I was making rice.  IT WAS SO LOUD.  I really hate that thing - it has yet to save us from an actual fire, it just goes off at the most annoying times.  FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! it screams at me.   I run from the kitchen to take it down (which is only a few feet away from any other room in our house) and I get it down.  Of course this doesn't stop the horrifying LOUD noise and I rip the batteries out of the thing.  AHHHH.......finally, peace and quiet.

Then I wonder why the kids aren't making any noise, why aren't they complaining and whining about the loud FIRE!! FIRE FIRE! like I am?

Oh, that's right......................

Dora's on.  Priorities, people, priorities.  I don't think they even heard the obnoxiously, loud smoke alarm which was mere feet from them.  They are in the zone.  Good thing it wasn't a real fire, I think they would try dragging out the tv before their own mother.

Random Question of the Day #3....

Or otherwise known as the Wolfe/Wise/Whitehouse  discussion topic of the day.  I actually got a message on the answering machine - there was lots of giggling and it wasn't exactly audible - but I heard "We figured it out......I'm Stan!"  Apparently Megs must have had a job in college selling plastic vomit that I didn't know about.  Ok, the question for this week is........

You first date EVER.........was he more of a

A.  Duckie

B.  Blane

C.  Steff


I choose date because I think it would be more entertaining to see the answers from the Wolfe/Whitehouse/Wise women.  Boyfriends tend to take more consideration.  Picking those out takes a bit more thought than random first dates.  As for me I think my first date was more a Duckie than anything else.  Aaahhhhh, that poor boy.  I think he actually liked me where I was just so excited to be on a "date".   Te idea of it was much more exciting than the real thing...........the "relationship" (I think it was 4 dates) ended when I heard he was going to try to kiss me FOR REAL.  Ugh.  No way.  It ended that afternoon.  I was 15.  I would like to move that number even higher for my girls......maybe 25?

So, what is it ladies?  A Duckie, a Blane or a Steff?

Oh and I DID clean out the van yesterday - all the recycling is removed.  I just have to jump in the back and get rid of the popsicle and clean out the cup holders so Ashley can resuming sleeping at night.  It's so good to have all of you in my little blog world - I, seriously, would never have gotten it clean without your disgust and horror motivating me.

An Hour of My Life..........GONE

I mentioned before that we are lucky to get our milk fresh from a local farm.  I make cheese, yogurt and, on occasion, my husband will make some butter.   I bake with it, we drink it and you can skim the cream right off the top to put in soups and stuff.  (I felt the need to tell you all this so that you would think I was some incredible housewife and how lucky my family is to have me.....I want you to keep all this in mind as you read on..........)

Last Thursday I went to pick up our milk and didn't have enough room in the cooler for all the jugs so I strapped one into Francesca's car seat.  When I got home I noticed a little milk had spilt in her seat but since I am the QUEEN OF DENIAL I promptly removed it from my mind and went about my business (of cooking, cleaning and serving my family in every capacity, so wonderful am I).

Fast forward to Monday morning......................

OH MY WORD.

I open the van door to take Fia to school and it slams us right in the nostrils...................the WORST SMELL IN THE WORLD.  The two older kids are screaming about how gross it is and how much it stinks and it really, really does.  Plus I still haven't cleaned out the van so all that recycling is still all over the place and the popsicle is stuck to the armrest.  It is appalling.

Yet I still seem to block it out of my mind upon arriving home.  (I think that Francesca inherited this from me because she plopped right into her stinky seat and rode all around  town while reading her Dora books - rancid, sour milk under my butt?  Not a problem, got my Dora.)

That night Joe finds out about it and is understandably horrified, yet we have been married long enough that no shock or surprise is registered.

I am thinking that Joe will handle it.....or little elves that come in the night........or someone......ANYBODY OTHER THAN ME.  I go to bed without a thought about the carseat or the smell or cleaning any of it up.  I am so positive that it will be taken care of.

The next morning we go to get in the van to take Fia to school.  I open the door.

OH MY WORD.

It was like crawling up the butt of something that had died 10 days prior.  Obviously Joe is trying to teach me a lesson or was tired and did not fully comprehend my expectations of him for all time (such as he will always be in charge of cleaning up anything in the car).  No elves came either.  It was time to admit defeat.  Further evidence of this was taking Fia to school and a little friend behind her said hmmmm, you smell.....you smell like....a pool.  Fia said yea, my car smells.  I was a tidbit embarrassed for our smelly van and the mom in charge of driving the van.

So I went home and told the kids that I was going to clean the carseat and I lifted it up to take it out of the car AND CURDLED, NASTY MILK CAME POURING OUT OF THE CARSEAT ONTO THE DRIVEWAY.  One more time........

OH MY WORD.

The milk had soaked through the carseat, through the blanket folded up underneath the carseat and had soaked into the chair.  Milk from Thursday afternoon.  We had been driving around town with curdled milk resting in the base of my baby's carseat.  The shame of it all.

So I spent an hour disassembling perhaps the MOST COMPLICATED PIECE OF EQUIPMENT that we own - the carseat.  I actually had to get tools out.  It was ridiculous.  And it was then that I made the vow to NEVER EVER DO THIS AGAIN.  It wasn't the smell that sent me over the edge it was all the dang time it took getting that dang carseat apart.  But it's done now.  Well, actually I did clean it all and wash the fabric parts but when Joe went to put it back in and opened up some secret compartment that I didn't know about - milk spilled out again.  So we just put in a carseat from Joe's car.

Now I just have to figure out how to get the milk out of the chair in the van.............................

Ryan Was Right .......

Last night we were with three other couples - all newly formed or forming families................it's so fun to see and be part of families at the beginning.  To know adults before parenthood sets in, to journey with them and see who they become.  It's been interesting to be the first ones in some ways - the first to go through so many milestones and to be the first with more than just one.....there was much talk last night of pregnancy, of sleeping and lives changing.  There was much discussion of what to do and how you survive and what is it REALLY like................

How on earth do you prepare yourself for those first brutal few weeks of waking ALL THE TIME?  There is no night and day, just one long endless feeding...............

The couple with the newest baby and all the rest of us assured you just do it.  You adjust, you get use to it.  You become people who don't sleep and you marvel at how you are able to keep your head up and still accomplish things and get through life.

But amidst all this talk the one without the children, without the babies, the one still who sleeps probably said the best words.  The words that still ring true today as I parent............

I would imagine you also just follow your instincts.  You trust your gut.

Yep.

I think that's what you have to do.

We are a world bombarded with information, with opinions, with absolutes depending on are you a crunchy mom or silky mom.  It's so hard to know what's right and what's going to permanently HARM YOUR BABY FOR LIFE.  So when you are a new mom with little sleep, hormones that are acting a little crazy, your first babe in arms you want to just do what is just right......and there are so many books, people, blogs that will tell you just what that is........according to them.  My advice to new moms is to do what you gotta do to survive.  Trust your instinct.  You know the things you SHOULD NEVER, EVER do - no sleeping on the stomach, don't leave your baby on the changing table, etc.  The rest is up to you and your baby and what it takes to survive those first brutal weeks.

I was petrified with Sofia of doing the WRONG thing - what would people say - ah the horror!  What if they saw me with a bottle?  What if they saw her crying?  What if she wasn't on a schedule?  What if she wouldn't sleeping in her crib?  What if? What if? What if?

After we didn't ruin Sofia for life and we survived her infancy I was more relaxed about the next few, at least, relaxed in the fact that I thought we did ok.  We knew what we were doing for our babies, that what we did worked for us.  For the most part, she did sleep always in her crib.  We swaddled for months and months.  We didn't change her diaper that often at night (though Joe says we did but I know there were many nights we did not - when they start sleeping through the night they lay in that thing for HOURS AND HOURS - so there is nothing wrong with not changing every time when they are getting up more frequently).  We tried to give a little bit more breastmilk in a bottle at the last feeding to try to stretch that first hour of sleep during the night.  With Nico, he slept in a bouncy chair for the first few months of life (what a life saver that was!) but he was still in the crib.  Binkies were used and used with fervor!  We had 20 stashed around the house by the time Nico was here (And Fia used hers until her FOURTH BIRTHDAY - judge if you will, Francesca never took one).

So new moms, do what you have to do and trust your instinct.  Learn to get some sleep and some time for yourself, however that looks.  If to you that means holding your baby while they sleep and watching some tv, just do it.  If that means having your husband do the last feeding with a bottle of formula  before bed, just do it.  If that means driving around town with your sleeping baby in the back of the car and grabbing a coke and sitting in the parking lot of Burger King for some peace and quiet, just do it.

Survival looks different to everyone.......and what a miracle that we all do survive and so do our children :)

Rainy Day Procrastination.....

So I had all kinds of plans to clean up that Popsicle mess in the car and to take the recycling to where it belongs.........but it's raining.  I can't possible go out in the rain and do that sort of thing so we went for a walk in the rain instead with our umbrellas and boots - such fun.  I love to see Nico's expression as he jumps into the biggest puddle and splashes water all over himself.  It's as if he thinks he is getting away with something so incredibly naughty but his mom is RIGHT THERE laughing with him too.

On this rainy day I thought you might enjoy reading one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE blog posts.  I am loathe to share this link with you because this mom is so HILARIOUS and true and just downright honest in a world that sometimes lends itself to extremes (I breastfed for TWO YEARS, I NEVER let my child watch tv, I only serve ORGANIC, FRESH FROM THE FARM food to my child, etc., etc.  It's something us moms do to ourselves, I swear.  And I applaud all these things, by the way, if you do them.  I am impressed and I think they are good things.  I am just saying sometimes we do the right things for the wrong reasons or look down on others who don't operate the same way we do.  I do it too....babies in slings make me twitch.  I have no idea why other than it's something that I could/would never do.  I want my babies in a crib when they are sleeping - don't hate me babywearers...., away from me so I can get a moment of peace and quiet.  I say this knowing I have dear friends who use slings - I love you, I love your children, they are amazing - I am the weird one.  Did I just write a WHOLE PARAGRAPH in parentheses?  Is that allowed?)  anyway I fear you might not stop by Mommy Moments anymore and who would I have to talk to in my head all day long?  But, alas, she is too good not to share and I can always pretend that I have readers.  Check her out here.  The funniest and truest line?


 TV IS YOUR FRIEND. Not only your friend, your lover.


Oh and the other favorite post here.  


Happy Rainy Monday!  Tomorrow will have to be Take Control of your Trashy Transportation Tuesday.....................

For Melissa

Many years ago, BEFORE I HAD CHILDREN, I got into my stepmother-in-law's car - it was covered in kid stuff.  There were some crumbs, some toys, etc.  I thought to myself - oh my WHEN I HAVE KIDS I will never let my car look like this........(I have NO IDEA why I thought this because I do not have a reputation for being the most organized, clean person....I think I was in my I will be a better parent THAN ANYONE ELSE EVER HAS BEEN phase - which ended about two minutes after I got home with my screaming bundle of joy and started sobbing because I thought my life was over - THAT was a parent of the year type of moment.......)

So this is for Melissa and because, well, motherhood is nothing if not humbling..............

A popsicle from Fia's trip to the ER

A sticker left on the window from a Border's story time 2 years ago

Nico's cup holders

Recycling put in the car a week ago - now just tossed from place to place
in order to get the kids in the car

Francesca's teddy, some spoon wrappers from Wendy's Jr frosty cups
 Thanks to Bekah for those coupon books!

The trunk where I dumped all the other recycling a week ago because I needed a container for our milk
(We get milk from a local farm and it comes in these big glass jars)

Have a good week everyone!!  Next time I write here I hope to have been shamed into cleaning this incredible mess - at least the grape popsicle melting all over the car :)

On The Path to Greatness ;)

This past week and, to be honest, it's an ongoing struggle of mine I have been thinking about how God wants me to use this life He has given me.  How can I pour out blessings to others?  How can I be used to love?  You all had such wonderful words for me and gave me much to think about......

And it did cause me to think.

It caused me to think about what is put before me.  What did God give me?  How did He pour out blessings on me?  And it always, always comes back to the same thing for me, for my path that God has put me on.......

My home.  My family.  My husband.  My children.

This is where God wants me to serve.  In my own home.

I have been so lucky that I have been able to do that and in the past few weeks I have seen so many instances in which I have been able to use my home, my family, my time to serve others.  (I was talking about this to one of my friends who happens to be male and he brings his boys over for playdates and often eats here........he asked if he was one of my ways of serving, a mission so to speak, oh and his wife works across the hall from Joe :)

But, well, I have been neglecting an area - an important one, in this age of divorce and the general breakdown of the family.........

My poor husband.  The last to get loved on.  The first to get piled on.  How can I worry about the orphans in Uganda or Ecuador when there is a man here that is not being loved on?  How can I worry about the people down the street or the hungry downtown, if there is one in my own home not being served?

My, oh my.......how God opened my eyes to what was before me, my first love, the one who should be loved first and foremost after Him.

Joe and I have a good, solid marriage.  I would even say that we have a great marriage but I have been slacking.  The inside of our cupboards have notes that we wrote each other...once upon a time before there were 3 little ones - they were still being written with two but seemed to drop off when the third arrived.   There used to be quite regular date nights but, well, it's hard when it seems there are so many things that come before date nights.  I think it is time to step it up, to get creative, to get inspired.

This site helped to kick things off today: http://www.thedatingdivas.com/

It is awesome!  How timely it was to find these ladies.  This morning the little ones and I put together a basket filled with new pajama pants, popcorn, mugs, hot chocolate and a movie from redbox.  We dropped it off at Joe's school with a note saying "Baby, It's Cold Outside" and then on the inside I wrote to meet me in front of the fire at 8:30 for snacks, hot drinks and some cuddlin'......

We came home and found some old white lights from Christmas and hung them around the living room and cut out snowflakes and hung those from the ceiling.  We added some other little touches here and there to make it feel more cozy, a bit different from the usual.  All in all I think it looks quite nice, a little winter wonderland.  It was cheap, easy and the kids could help.

There will be more dates in the future, more romantic gestures.  God put on my heart to love the ones He put in front of me.  That love will be further poured out on those around us.  To be an example of His love to my husband, to give that example to my children..........it's part of what He has called me to do.

Luckily, my man makes it easy to love...................kisses to you, babe.