My friend Tama is always quite frank with me. I treasure this about her, I treasure this frienship, this mentor she has been to me for almost 14 years now. She told me not so long ago that I am a little sensitive when it comes to my children, my eldest in particular. She might have been a bit more blunt than this and maybe her eyes rolled a bit and her eyebrows raised a bit. She thinks I have a tendency to make things comfortable for my kiddies, especially that eldest, so aptly nicknamed "my heart" on this blog. That maybe a bit of discomfort would be good for them.
I get it. I do. Most of the time...........well, some of the time. When your child's kindergarten teacher calls from school, in the second week of school, to let you know that your child is happily participating in gym instead of crying in the office........because she thought you would want to know. Well, that is an indicator that perhaps EVERYONE knows that you are a little anxious about your child's well-being.
And that's good, right? To be a concerned parent? To want your child's happiness and comfort?
Yeah, it's good. But it's sometimes a hindrance to your parenting and your child's growth. And I am working on it. Working on trusting God, trusting that we will get through this time together - He, I, Joe, my heart, my joy, my adventure and all the surrounding support we have......it's a bit hard when we are just at the beginning. The beginning of letting go of the eldest, the other two still firmly under wrap at home.....
One of the silly things I worry about each year is how we do Easter. It makes me anxious because I want it to be big and exciting and special and memorable. I have talked about it before on here. I want it to be as big as Christmas because, HEY, CHRIST ROSE FROM THE DEAD and that is BIG STUFF. HUGE STUFF. How to make it tangible for the ones I love and to honor the One we love?
Oh and, again, my eldest? Well, she's at school now.........and you know what that means.......COMPARING stories. Remember me wanting to make it comfortable and easier and good? I dreaded her coming home with a disappointed look or wondering why there were no gifts or baskets and such.
******DISCLAIMER: Gifts and baskets and bunnies and what not are not bad things. This is not a post where I want to cause YOU discomfort. You CANNOT believe how much I go over each word I write on here so as not to offend those I love who might be reading this. Each family, each person has to decide what is right for their own family. This is just us. This is just me, rambling for the record, mostly for my children to read someday.
So this year we made Easter BIG. We had an Easter tree. We did the Resurrection Eggs each day leading up to Easter. We made Resurrection Rolls. We dyed eggs and had an egg hunt at my parent's the weekend before Easter. We had people over for Good Friday dinner. We talked about sacrifice and sacrificed our time on Good Friday, visiting with some neighbors, doing things that would bring them joy. We made the trek to Nelson's Ledges the day before Easter to see if we could move a rock, like the rock that stood in front of Christ's tomb.
I felt the excitement of the season. I felt the anticipation. And, yet, I still wondered.........is it enough? Is it enough to drown out the huge baskets in every store? Is it enough to drown out the aisles of candy and the talk of the bunny? Is Jesus enough?
I cringe to write that last question.
But for me, for us.........that's what is comes down to. Is He enough or am I going to give in to my anxiety, my need to keep up with the world, my desire for comfort? Because it's kind of uncomfortable to go against the grain, to have kind, well-meaning strangers ask my kids what the Easter Bunny brought them and have them look blankly up at you. It's kind of uncomfortable to walk past the aisles of treats and toys and candy with your kids and have them oooh and aaah knowing that it's not going to happen and it could easily. That grandparents are just dying to buy them everything and anything because they are good like that.
But it turns out that He is, He is enough. He told me in the best of ways, knowing it's the way I hear Him best, at times.
I was taking down the Easter tree not so long ago, I kept it up entirely too long but it was so pretty and added a bit of whimsy to our living room, and Fia was in there with me.
She looked up and said, "Mom, can we do Easter like that again?"
Oh, honey. Yes. Yes, we can. Thank you God for speaking so clearly and using the best way possible to get my attention.
For them, it was enough. He was enough. This celebration centered around Jesus.
Some pictures from our day at Nelson's Ledges. It was one of my favorite parts of our celebration. The day, the weather, the company were all perfect.
|And the day begins, on the steps leading up to the rocks|
|Fia kept wanting to take pictures for the beloved Mrs. B|
|Nico was beside himself with excitement the WHOLE day|
|The wild one - cliff diving :)|
|Daddy leading the way|
|One day there will come a time when Francesca's face ISN'T dirty.......|