Tuesday, May 1, 2012


I am so tired.

I wonder why I can't catch up.

I wonder why I can barely keep my eyes open at times during the day then be wide awake at night.

I wonder why the floors I sweep seem to collect dirt and food and dust the moment I put the broom away.

I wonder how the piles keep collecting and the trash keeps piling and the stuff keeps spilling out of the closets.

I wonder if I am spending enough time with my children and it keeps me up at night and feeds guilt into my mind.

I make promises at dawn to myself, to God which are lost by the time day fully dawns and the reality of my tiredness and the demands of my day set in.

I cringe to even give voice to these thoughts because I know the my worries are few, my life is good and easy and filled with love.

I wonder if I can take any more of the thoughts crowding my head, the words that speak of weariness and constancy, the thoughts that crave space and time and breathe even when those things were just given to me mere hours or days prior.

I wonder if I can take another step downstairs to do more laundry, unload another dish, change another bed, cook another meal, play another game, read another book, make another call.

I take a sick child to the doctor and glance down at another's arms on which God's word was scrawled...

Jeremiah 1:8

It comes back to me as the tv turns on and quiet ensues, the quiet space in the day when I clean and cook and pick up.  It comes back to me as something that might be important.

I sit down with my lunch and hot coffee by my side and I look, I look for answers to my wonderings.

"Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you, " declares the Lord."

I will rescue you from the dishes.

I will rescue from your weariness.

I will rescue you from your guilt.

I will rescue you from the pull of more and more and more.

I will rescue you from the laundry.

I will rescue you from feeling stupid about the ease of your life.

I will rescue you from normalcy.

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born I set you apart."

I set you apart to be a mother to these children,

I set you apart to be a wife to this man.

I set you apart to create a home that welcomes my people.

I set you apart for the tasks you have done today and are going to do.

I set you apart.

I set you apart.

"Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land............They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord."

Thank you Lord.  Thank you for setting me apart for this life you have given me.  Today I will embrace the tasks you have set before me knowing that I am advancing your kingdom with the work you have given to me.  Thank you for rescuing me from myself.  Thank you for writing your words so that I may see - whether on the arms of angels or in the tattered Bible before me.

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