Thursday, January 29, 2015

It's Not You.........It's Me

It's not you.

Truly.

I know people say that and it's not sincere or real.

But it really is ME.

When I was first introduced to you..........well, it was with trepidation that I began our relationship.

You seemed a little too cool for me.

I know that sounds weird.

Because I am sure you wouldn't say you were "cool"........but I have always been a girl that would have no idea how to define that word, let alone BE that word.

So........well, you seemed "cool".

But gradually I became used to you, what seemed cool became the norm.

You seemed to be able to go anywhere, appropriate in all situations........fitting in wasn't hard.

So I began to take you to church, out with friends, to dinner, to family gatherings.

And, to be honest, you made me feel pretty.

You made me feel confident.

I loved how I felt when we were together.

I was comfortable.

Suddenly what once was a casual, once in a while relationship grew into something more.

And then..............suddenly............

It turned serious, almost daily.

But today I began to recognize something.

It's not good for me to be with you every day.

That first feeling of comfort and beauty and confidence have given way to something different.

Hmmmm..............how to explain?

The level of comfort you bring had led me to becoming TOO comfortable, to the detriment of the others in  my life.

Somehow the others........the ones that I used to have daily, the ones I relied on for dinners and outings and church and more.........well, they were tossed aside for YOU.

My comfort had become unhealthy.

And so I have to say goodbye..........not a forever goodbye, just a for now goodbye......maybe even just a for a day, a week goodbye.

It's not you.

It's me.

For if I don't say goodbye, if I don't begin to remember the ones that came before YOU......well, I won't fit into any of my clothes ever again.

Goodbye, my leggings.

I love that you have gone with me everywhere, expanding my winter wardrobe to include dresses and tunics and easy, breezy winter wear in a way I had never experienced before.

I love that you are the answer to never having to wear hose again.

I love that you are warmth in the cold Ohio winters.

I love that you have a waistband that never digs in, never accuses........but is filled with grace and forgiveness.

I love that you have given me options.

I love you, my leggings,

But I have to wear my jeans again..............to remember.

Remember the pain of a waistband that does NOT forgive.

Remember that there is a time and place for one size fits all..........but that sometimes size does matter and I have one size in my closet and have no desire or cold hard cash to change that size.

Remember that summer is coming.........it always does.......and with summer comes less clothing and while I am at a certain point in life that it's a lot MORE clothing than it use to be.......well, there are still swimming pools and 90 degree weather and my leggings won't be appropriate anymore.......

So...............goodbye to our daily, constant relationship.

And hello to the reality of a life beyond leggings.

I will miss you.

But please remember.........

It's not you.

It's me.



No comments: