I Said No...(but I REALLY, REALLY want to say yes)

All I want is for my children to be happy and to see their smiling faces, it would make life simple and easy, right? I mean who can resist this face? But, here's the hard part......it's not REALLY all I want. On the surface, sure, a happy kid makes a happy mom which makes a happy home but I want more. I want to look past this moment in time to their future and I know what makes them happy now won't ensure the best person in the future. One of the hardest things I have had to do as a parent is say no when all I want to do is say yes. I want to buy them everything, have McDonald's for lunch (you should see the joy that comes from the mere mention of chicken nuggets - it's become a grandparent fav) every day, watch Dora until it's no longer fun, I want to clear every path, soften every blow, I want to absorb all the hurt and pain that they will experience so that they will remain untouched, innocent and happy.

I don't do this, of course, I don't absorb all the hurts........I could, at this age, probably pull this off. I don't give them all their heart's desires.........this, too, is possible at this age, especially with all the wonderful family members we have. Why don't I? Because their heart, their character will always trump their happiness. What kind of person does a child become when they know no hardship, when everything is given to them, when there is nothing to work for? I hope I don't ever find out.

And when I say this, when I think this.............it gives me pause. For doesn't my Father love me the same way? When all I am looking for is a simple yes and I get no - why? I imagine that He wants to say yes, to give everything, to create utter happiness. I imagine His heart is much BIGGER than mine and He would love nothing better than to say YES! He would love to see expressions of joy and happiness on our faces. But what happens when we are given everything we want? We lose track of what brings us true joy and contentment and start to rely on what is given to us, on the circumstances of life and not God. Do our things, our health, our friends bring contentment? In a way, yes. But not true contentment. Toys break. Friends leave or disappoint. Health deteriorates. What are we left with then? What if all our life we have depended on that to make us happy? In the end we are left with what we had in the beginning. A Father's love, an unchanging, never ending, always there kind of love - whether you have everything you want or nothing. That is what I want for my children.