Friday, September 2, 2011

My Adventure

She came ten days late, after a pregnancy that could kindly be called a trying one. On days that I wasn't feeling so kind I might have used words such as torture and I DON'T EVER WANT TO DO THIS EVER, EVER AGAIN. The doctor told me I had to be induce....this was never something I wanted to have happen.

I should have known this one would be different.

When she was ready, she was ready RIGHT THEN. The nurses had to tell me NOT to push, don't sneeze, NOTHING. They ran to get a doctor. She came out, slipped out really in three easy pushes. I laughed with relief and said I AM SO HAPPY NOT TO BE PREGNANT ANYMORE! I am afraid I was a bit hysterical from the relief I felt. After she was out they determined her body temperature needed to be up, it was a bit low. So this beautiful babe needed to lay skin to skin with me for hours and hours in order for it to rise. They said it was the best thing. So while the new big sister and brother were escorted in and made their way to momma, Francesca found a way to be with momma and momma only, to be the one closest to her.

I should have known this one would be different.

To be fair to my girl, she did come home under different circumstances than the other two did. She was the youngest of three - the oldest having just turned three. It was not a situation for the weak of heart.

And heart my girl does have........

I was looking back and it's funny to me how Francesca seems to always have a glint in her eye, a smirk or a determined attitude about her. She is our adventure. She is the one who loves big and lives big. She has no comprehension that she is the third or that she isn't or shouldn't be the center of all things. Like all younger siblings to strives to catch up with the big kids and wants to be a part of it all. She recognizes no batting away or eye rolling at having to be included, she simply pushes her way through.

I have to say that as much as she drives me crazy with her need, her drive, her determination to do it her way RIGHT NOW - I admire these qualities in our youngest. I marvel at her assuredness. She walks into stores, the library, church and is assured of her acceptance. She waves goodbye to everyone at these places as if she has just left her friends and will see them soon. It is amazing to me to see the reactions of people as they love her just as much as she was certain they would. There is no fear in this little one - except when she feels the need for a little drama and creates it on her own.

My fearless girl walking and playing baseball at 9 months

This perhaps is one of my favorite pictures for it so illustrates the personalities
of my children - my heart, my joy and my adventure.

I should have known this one would be different.

As a parent you discover that you love all your children equally but in entirely different ways. And this is true for my youngest. I am in awe of her. I roll my eyes and shake my head and grow weary of her energy and need and passion but I am in awe of her. I wish I had more of her confidence and a bit of her ignorance of the world and it's ability to hurt her. I pray that this sense of adventure remains within her. I pray for the guidance and wisdom needed to parent a child of adventure, how to balance correcting the heart and spirit without crushing it.

How I love this girl, this girl that almost didn't come about. Did you know that? We went to an adoption meeting, talking about our third and possibly fourth coming from a different country. It was my love that spoke of just one more that came directly from us not to us. We struck a deal (I would only be expected to nurse for 6 weeks with the third - that's right, let the negative thoughts roll.........a weak-willed mama in the nursing arena) and a third one from the womb it was.

And what a good decision it was, for this girl has been my adventure. I love that she brings adventure to the whole family. Who can resist the glint, the smirk, the wide eyed nature of Francesca? Not any of us. She is the one who at church will scream "TRY AGAIN!" after we sing or one time it was an enthusiastic "YEA!". She waves her hands and claps while the praise music flows throughout the sanctuary. She is a constant measure of praise to me. She teaches us all how to live fully in each moment.

I should have known this one would be different.........

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