Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Perhaps It Is Time For a Bit of Laughter.....

Last Thursday afternoon and up until the next morning, I was in Kansas City by myself. I had checked into the hotel and was waiting for my parents to come. I had already seen Matt and Tash and was without transportation.

But, wait, let me repeat the most important part...........I was ALONE for almost 24 hours, BY MYSELF............

Oh. My. Gosh. ALONE.................ahhhhhh..........when had that last happened? Surely it was some time before June 17th, 2006 and even then, I don't think I had ever been overnight by myself anywhere, even in my own house.

It was AWESOME.

I am afraid that I did not use this time wisely. I somewhat OD'd on reality television - the TLC variety. Then I began to get hungry. It was about 3 o'clock and I hadn't eaten since I had left that morning at 5:00am. I had no car and I had no idea where I was. But the hunger was real and it was not going to go away. So I made my way downstairs and headed out the door.

I walked down the street to a Burger King but decided to skip on the fast food. After all, this would be a gathering of the Kossler's soon and with that comes pizza, chicken, pop, all manner of food that would guarantee my jeans not fitting on the way home (which they didn't, as comfortably as they usually are, I ended up wearing my dress and heels back on the plane which made for a really fun time running through the airport trying to make my connecting flight at 8:50 Monday night.......oh and add to that I had to go down an ESCALATOR in my heels with my suitcase and purse. I about HAD A PANIC ATTACK right there in the airport......I HATE those DEATH TRAPS with a PASSION) Anyway, food, no car, Kansas City...........

So standing there in the Burger King parking lot I saw a lady talking on her phone. She was rather heavy, in an older, worn out car and looked to be a nice person. I peeked in her window and asked her if she knew of any drugstores on this side of the street (the two sides were divided by highway and I was hungry, but not THAT hungry, not willing to risk getting smashed like a deer on the side of the Pennsylvania turnpike). Well, she did point out a Walgreens on the other side of the highway and then she said, "Well, hop on in I can take you right over!"

Hmmmmmm.

She looked nice and I was hungry and my suitcase was somewhere in Airtran land waiting to be brought to my hotel sometime that night or the next day.

Hmmmmmm.

I say, "You aren't going to escape with me or anything or you?" Hahahaha......I get in the car. Linda says that she just came from water aerobics class and was trying to convince herself to get a healthy lunch but you see where that got her.....the Burger King parking lot. So she said that I saved her from fast food and that she really needed to stay away from drive through parking lots because they were her downfall.

We get to Walgreens and she says to take my time she has nowhere she has to be. I make my purchases quickly and go out. I am still not certain that this is the right thing to be doing but man, she is a nice lady and rather quirky. As she is taking me back to my hotel, we chat. I ask her what it is she does. Apparently, Linda married a nice older man who works while she quit her job as a switchboard operator. She didn't like the work and life is too short and she figured out she didn't have too many things she needed. (At this point, Jin, her husband calls, and she tells him she is right on her way. She picked up a woman, decided she was tired of picking up men so decided to try something new. At this point I was sure she was just saying this to be funny........) So Linda changed careers and became a professional sweepstaker. She wins prizes and that is what she does for a living.

Huh.

We get back to the hotel and she wishes me well and goes on her way. This is the end of the story, other than to say I ate an entire bag of goldfish crackers, 2 packages of string cheese, a Crunch candy bar and some other snack that I can't remember in the space of one episode of "What Not To Wear". So much for spacing out my snack items so that they would last for the rest of the night........I would totally be the first one off the island, I have no survival instinct........

Well, maybe if Linda were there to help me I could last a round a two...................

Oh, and, TRULY, one final note........I had to PROMISE, SWEAR, VEHEMENTLY ASSURE my wonderful husband that I would NEVER, EVER, EVER do something so STUPID (yes, at times, apparently, you ARE allowed to use that word..........like when your wife is alone for the first time in 5 years and willingly gets in a car with a stranger for the sake of goldfish crackers and deoderant) again. And, of course, I will NEVER, EVER, EVER do that again.........even though, it DID work out very well and Linda truly is SUCH a nice person.

Truly, Joe, NEVER AGAIN.

4 comments:

Rebekkah said...

I'm such a bad influence on you. Hitchhiker. :-D

Meghan said...

This is SUCH a Kossler story. I'm sure it will go down in the archives.

Vince said...

So, wait. Burger King wasn't healthy enough for you, but crackers, string cheese and a candy bar were? I think your definition of healthy far out weights you getting in a car with a stranger.

mandyc said...

Yeah, I know......but in my defense Walgreens doesn't have much to work with. The candy bar was an afterthought at the hotel from a vending machine. I didn't think crackers and cheese was all that bad! Plus i remembered the other snack was dried fruit ( it was pretty nasty, though)