Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Every Day

Yesterday Joe came home and I had a bit of a gentle rant filled with hurtful sighs and frustration.  I was feeling overlooked and undervalued.  I wanted to keep a tally, make a list, demand recognition.  I was still feeling a bit under the weather, my head was in a vice grip and my body seemed to want to give up just a bit.  My head, my thoughts were in a jumble and had been causing my body to race around all day - being the good mom, playing, cleaning, organizing and cooking without stopping, without a moment's pause to just sit and be still.

It was kind of a crazy day.  It had been kind of a crazy few days.

Joe listened.  He told me what he always does - he sees, he notices, it's hard, I do a great job - far beyond what is expected.  It means a lot to me.   He noticed that the rope was at it's end.  He sent me out after supper, around 6:30 to have some time by myself.  It was unprompted.  He even said he wanted me to go because the kids won't play the same with me there, mom still comes first most days, these days.  He made me feel that I was doing him a favor by leaving.

I went to my parent's house.  I poured a glass of wine.  I took a bath.  I read a book.

I was asleep by 8:00.

I startled awake at 9 and thought, just a few more minutes then I will go home..........I came home to a quiet house.  The children asleep, Joe was at the computer working.  We talked for a few moments, enough to make sure that all was well with each of us, that we each survived our individual nights.  Well, that he survived and that I was ready for another go around the next day now.  I was.

I walked into the bedroom and looked at our bed and thought how cold it would be to get into after the warmth I had just left at my parents.  I was all bundled under blankets and cozy and reading/sleeping there and now to come home to a cold bed.  I thought for a moment about warming up the corn bags that Joe had made me for Christmas.  The most brilliant gift EVER (besides the year long gift of evenings out :).  But that required too much effort.  So I pulled back the covers and went to jump in......

The corn bags were already there.

Our bed was all cozy and warm.

That is passion in the every day.

I love that my husband is good at the grand gestures.  Each Christmas he out does himself, I think that he can't possibly top the last year's present.  But he always does.  Yet what he is better at, what keeps our marriage healthy and strong and lasting is the passion in the every day.  The things that go unnoticed by others, the things that take less than 5 minutes but take careful consideration of the other persons needs and desires, the things that are easy to not do.

He gets me coffee at church when the singing is over and the children have left.  He takes the time to walk out, miss a minute or two of the sermon and he gets my coffee.

He makes me tea every night.

He changes the laundry.

He makes me coffee every morning before I get out of bed...knowing it propels me out of bed.  He drinks maybe half a cup.

He changes the pee jammies in the middle of the night.

He herds the children into his workshop downstairs so I can a have a moment to myself after school.

He makes sure that our tiny garage is cleaned out every winter as soon as it snows so I can have a place to park.

He is my biggest fan, my most ardent supporter, my loudest cheerleader.

That is passion in the every day.