I don't know if this comes across in my blog world............but I am a Martha. Disregard all those posts about my messy van and my messy children and my messy house.........it's true. I am Martha.
I am the woman running around to make sure things are picked up, things are appearing to be cleaned or organized. No, I wouldn't pass a white glove test but for a woman with three children, constant company and a BOATLOAD of food coming in from a garden...........I am a Martha.
I worry about things appearing just so. I worry about dirty floors, I worry about wiped counters. I worry about hose counters being empty of the "stuff" that occupies them daily. I feel I CANNOT relax while there is "stuff" out.
I once was given a talk about Martha by my brother. It COMPLETELY ticked my off. I could not believe this insensitive MAN talking about the necessity of Martha taking the time to sit at the feet of Jesus. I mean, SERIOUSLY, who was supposed to do the cooking? Who was SUPPOSED to do the cleaning? Who does all that? How can we serve people out of a dirty house? How can we serve people without feeding them? I never did finish the cd..............
I wasn't hearing. I wasn't able to see the message meant for me.
I don't know if I am still.
But I am trying...............................
Today we had village at our house. It was awesome. Not because we are awesome or our village is awesome but because God is awesome. God is so good because as Ryan mentioned...........He's been picking our friends. I look around our village and we are all different. I am not sure I would have ended up in this circle had I done the choosing.
There is a woman sitting in the circle that..........runs. I mean for real........runs. I still have no idea why anyone would do such a thing. This woman who takes notes (I would try every beginning of the semester to do this is college and then lost my momentum about the first week in. After that I would draw lines to count down the seconds left in class or hold my breath and see if I could last a minute or longer..........I am more a visual person........I liked to skim the textbooks the night before the exams.........don't judge........I graduated and got a job, ok?) and is the same size I was when I was six. I love this woman.
There is another woman.........she says she is more of an attachment parent.................and she went to a farmer's market and left with lollipops. It's like she's my opposite. I cannot imagine a parent less attached to their baby (LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my babies but well, I need a schedule or at least a routine or I lose my mind.........which is why I slightly lose my mind and don't go out in public when I first have babies............I remember my brother-in-law coming over TO THE HOUSE the day I came home with Francesca. Apparently he did not get the memo that NO ONE is to come to the house when I come home from the hospital because that is when I hole up in my room and cry and think WHY DID I DO THIS AGAIN?!?) and I can spend hours canning and blanching and chopping and freezing and cooking. It would not occur to me to ever buy lollipops :) I love this woman.
There is another woman that had a day to herself for the first time in I can't imagine how long and she spent a few hours on her front porch and read books about God and what He is saying and spent time in careful reflection. She said she wasn't going to run around the house like a mad woman. She also giggles at what I cook or make, a bit incredulous. Then says she has to learn how to do this.......in between taking care of five kids, running a photography business and so on and so forth. She also is SCADS nicer than I am. She actually sees so many good things in people while I just try really hard to...............sometimes. I love this woman.
And you know what is similar in all these women?
They are Marys to my Martha. I would imagine woman #1 is a Martha but is disciplined enough to become a Mary :) She loves Jesus and she loves organization...............but notice who came first, she always points me to Jesus because His love shines from within her. The other two are definitely natural Marys, sitting at the feet of Jesus. They prompt me to spend more time there and less time sweeping the floor on which I sit.
Today at Village the booth was filled with stuff I hadn't moved. The basement floor was unswept. The lesson not perfect. The cantaloupe sat uncut. But the night before we had a great discussion and a great time with an unexpected visitor. I read books with the kids after they woke up. I remember forcing myself to sit there and not worrying about everything that needed to be done. Then I ended up having a good time and relaxing a bit. There was still frenetic activity before village and there were certainly unholy thoughts racing through my head as everything felt a bit harried and the kids all needed me at certain points. But I don't think anyone noticed what I noticed and I am glad the extra time was spent sitting and noticing, sitting and talking, sitting and being still.
And so today...........I am thankful. Thankful for friends God has placed in my circle, in my life. Those natural Marys are so kind in telling me what I do for them, how I encourage them in areas of their life but they are the ones that point me to Him. They still my body, open my heart and give me space to breathe.