Dear Magical Fairy/Elf People,
I have read many stories of you growing up and I want to thank you for all the things you have done throughout the ages. I know that your main occupation deals with shoes and I know this must keep you VERY, VERY busy (it seems to be a very LUCRATIVE business as I went shoe shopping with my eldest just a few weeks ago. It was the first time we had to go to a store without "gently used" or "discount" in it's title and MY, MY was I SURPRISED! Apparently these days six year olds require shoes that cost more than my entire outfit does - including underwear and shoes. We got out the door with one of the cheapest pairs, after signing up for a card and taking advantage of some sale and so on and so forth but MY, MY - so carry on, my elf friends........you gotta pay the fairy bills somehow :)
HOWEVER, I was wondering if I could take advantage of your FREE, NIGHTTIME services. There is much work to be done around the house and yard. Oftentimes I go to bed at night with the lawn not mowed, the laundry still in piles and the booth still not cleaned. And much to my GREAT surprise these things are still not done when I get up in the morning. According to the stories, if you have a great enough need, the fairies/elves come.
I suppose I am writing you just to make you aware THAT THE NEED IS GREAT. You see.................it's almost fall - which means harvest time, which means LOTS of canning - canning tomatoes, making sauce, peeling and slicing pears, making applesauce, all kinds of stuff - which is fun but time consuming. And did I mention it's almost FALL - THE PREMIERE OF PARENTHOOD! THE PREMIERE OF NEW SHOWS! There has been an absence of quality tv SINCE APRIL.............who can find the time to clean and harvest and do chores WHEN PARENTHOOD IS SO NEAR?
So I beg of you kind, hardworking, efficient, AWESOME fairy/elf people..............PLEASE , PLEASE stop at my house. We are eagerly awaiting your arrival and if you miss a night or two or forget to come a time or two...........BELIEVE ME, I UNDERSTAND........it is HARD to remember EVERYTHING. But I believe that you can get here eventually. Also, if you can bring your expert sock locator and matcher that would be INCREDIBLE.....somehow school snuck up on me and darn it if they don't require you to wear shoes, which require socks of some kind. I don't think we have had a day yet of the socks actually MATCHING any outfit. Since Sofia is still in first grade I see no problem with this yet but I imagine at some point she will notice the other kids have moms who make sure their socks match their outfit (although, she did REFUSE the Halloween socks that I tried to sneak by her, apparently she does have some standards.)
In closing, I love you fairy people. I CANNOT wait for you to visit our house. I will spread the news far and wide of your goodness. Maybe I, too, can write a book - "The Happy Homemaker's Elves" or more likely, "The Harried Homemaker's Elves WHO CHANGED HER LIFE FOREVER". I will never take credit for your work. I promise. Just please come visit. Seriously. Laundry room is in the basement, I don't care where you put dishes or clothes as long as they are clean. I am not a choosy mom, in fact I never buy Jif.
Love (and I will love you forever),
Amanda Marie Codispoti