It comes with so many demands - on my time, on my emotions, on my strength.
It drains me and leaves me empty, at times.
What started out as dreams and imaginings and YES! I can't wait to do this thing........well, that first burst of excitement gives way to the reality of what I signed up to do.
It's just a lot more work than I expected.
There are some days when it's just repetition and sameness and OH MY WORD do these people love to talk. It's a lot more listening than I imagined. More care than I imagined. TONS more patience than I imagined.
By the end of some days I am frustrated and irritated.
I wonder if what I am doing matters.
I wonder if I made the right decision in taking on this new life, this new job.
I wonder if everyone wouldn't be better off if life had stayed more of the same.
There are days when I miss my old life.
BUT..........then I think.
I love these people.
I love this environment.
I love the atmosphere.
There are the perks of flexibility, time off when needed (I love the guy I work with - he's incredibly understanding and aware of when I have hit my limit) and I have a lot of creative control and input into what goes on.
I DO love it.
And on the bad days?
I remember it's a job.
It's not meant to be fun ALL the time.
I don't do it because it's "fun".
It starts off intense, round the clock and then gives way to a lighter load.
It may seem mundane at times BUT................
It is worth the time and the energy and the effort.
It's worth the hard days and the bad days.
And sometimes I kind of suck at it.
But it's a job.
And that will happen.
I just get up the next day and try again.
I pray more.
I love more.
I give grace more - to myself and those around me.
Because being a mom is the most important job I will ever have.