People Before Mission

This is a phrase I find myself repeating quite a bit in my new job.........

PEOPLE BEFORE MISSION.

I say it a lot but I forget it a lot, too.

Because, in reality, PEOPLE BEFORE MISSION is not the WHOLE story behind the phrase, huh?

The WHOLE story behind the phrase would be PEOPLE (who agree with me/are healthy/are whole/who have the same mission/who get on board/who aren't complicated/who don't require hard work) BEFORE MISSION, right?

I mean who REALLY wants to do the hard work of actually being with people before they even get that there IS a mission?

Who wants to jump in the trenches with people who think "the mission" is dumb or stupid or wrong?

Who wants to put people who have strayed from YOUR mission before the mission?

Who wants to take the time to love and care for and hear out the people who just don't get it?

No one.

Not really.

We talk a good game but living this crap out is hard.

I looked at my son this morning and told him that one day he will remember these moments - these hard, I want to shake you, I can't believe you are my spawn, why won't you just act LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING moments - and he will realize that it wasn't me being calm in these moments but it was God.  That this calm voice, this calm manner, this not throttling him was because of God.

And I forget that when I am with adults.  I forget that the whole idea of PEOPLE BEFORE MISSION are the moments in time when I am fully reliant on God for my response, when I look to him before I look to myself.  When I look to Him and say........ok, what should my response be?  What can I say to this hurting, angry, lost, lonely, confident for all the wrong reasons, running too fast person?

What would I say?

Oh my.  No one should hear that.  Occasionally people do.

It's rarely my best self or even a good self.  Luckily those people love me.

But how about the people who need love from ME?

I HAVE to look to God.

I have to still my own thoughts, quiet my own reaction, my own response.

I have to listen and ponder and relax my shoulders and not tense up with the need for the RIGHT answer.

I have to have a GOD response not a ME response.

I would gladly put MISSION before PEOPLE.......almost every time.

But maybe...........just maybe........people ARE the mission.

Feeling thoughtful today...........................