Friday, November 28, 2014
Promise that it will be me and you. Me and you against the world together. Against the children together. Against the insecurities and the long nights of sleeplessness. Against the norm, against the ways things "ought" to be. Against the bad decisions and the hard decisions. Me and you. Together.
Promise that your arms will always hold, always encircle, always protect. That your words will sooth and love and build up. That your presence will be the always calm in the sometimes storms.
Promise that the person I have to be, the person I choose to be, the person that is on display for the world is not the person I have to be for you. Promise that you will always love my naked self more than my made-up self. That stripped down, laid bare Mandy is the best version, your favorite version and you'll treasure it as only yours.
Promise that when I do the grown up version of a kicking and screaming tantrum - when my silence is heavy and my spirit is angry that you'll see past the facade and look to the heart. That you will recognize the core of who I am and know. Know that I'm scared, that I'm tired, that I'm frustrated, that I'm anxious, that I'm hurt. Know that I need you and always will but sometimes choose to push you away. Forgive me.
Promise that I can throw water at you and say inappropriate 6 year old boy words and sing off key and talk too much and laugh too loud and flick spit in your face and cunningly, sneakily serve you tuna and you will laugh with me. That we won't ever grow up and be "proper" adults that there will always be some words that are funny, some things that cause us to dissolve in laughter........even if it's just how funny the OTHER person thinks it is.
Promise that we'll talk. We'll discuss. We will always dream. That we will never grow tired of our children's stories, that they will continue to amaze us and challenge us and make us laugh and we will talk of it. Promise that while silence can be comfortable it never takes over our lives and that we will be the old couple at the restaurant still talking and laughing and dreaming.
I love you.
I promise you.