Friday, October 21, 2011

An Oldie But Goodie.........

So, apparently, everyone loves a good pee story. Plus we have already established that I have no shame in sharing such stories so brace yourselves for more information than you might have needed..............

Picture it Canton, Ohio 2007. It was a warm yet dark morning and I was about 5 months pregnant with Nico (Any Golden Girls fans out there?) I had just gotten past the worst of the vomiting and nausea and utter grossness that encompasses the first few months of my pregnancies. There were a few foods that brought on waves of nausea those first few months and grapes were one of them. But I was past that now.

It was about 5 o'clock in the morning and I was on the couch watching a video and stuffing as many fresh purple grapes in my mouth as I could. I was a woman out of control but THEY TASTED SO GOOD. Crisp, juicy, plump grapes.

It was too soon.

Oh my goodness. I felt it.......the nauseousness beginning to rise from my belly, protesting that it was too many, too soon, TOO MUCH DELICIOUSNESS...........STOP! STOP! STOP!

Oh no the baby is sleeping....her room is right next to the bathroom and I am NOT a delicate vomiter - oh the curses of a one bathroom home........the kitchen, yes, the kitchen! There is a sink (I don't pause to consider who exactly is going to be cleaning out the vomity mess in the sink).........I run............

I pause before the sink and a great surge of purple grapes comes pouring forth along with the inevitable release of all liquid that I had consumed the night before. Yes, yes, I was standing vomiting in the kitchen sink while simultaneously peeing all over the kitchen rug at 5 o'clock in the morning while 5 months pregnant.

Oh, did I mention that I was naked because I hated wearing pjs when I was pregnant?

Or that my dear husband comes out of the bedroom, takes one look, shakes his head and goes back into bed?

A peeing, vomiting, naked pregnant woman in the kitchen and all that is warranted is a shake of the head.......................

Goes to show you how crazy things can get behind our closed doors..................

1 comment:

The Hubbie said...

Being the dear hubbie, I must explain that due to the frequency of such activities in my home, I have become immune to the shock (which thus negates any course of action) one might expect a loving, devoted husband and father to express. Therefore, I ask for your sympathy, not your judgement:)