Mat Envy

I think it has happened.

I have reached that age where you can't just eat right for a few days and magically go down to your "comfortable" weight. Notice I did not say ideal weight or Jennifer Aniston weight but your comfortable weight.

I went over my limit the other week. That number that says WHOA SISTER! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! - that number. I thought, ok. I can deal with it. No biggie. I will just be a bit more careful about what I eat.

Still there.

This is not good. I am now part of a family where EVERY FEMALE is small. My mother-in-law birthed 6 children and is still sporting a single digit pant size. My step mother-in-law, well let's not even go there - she is a yoga instructor, people. Small doesn't even begin to describe her size. And it's not just that she is small but she is "toned". We can go out further to my sister-in-laws, the cousins, the aunts, everyone..........it's like I entered the land of the little people.......well, except they aren't THAT short, just thin.

So I feel the need to reign myself in. For Ashley's sake I feel the need to say I don't think I am fat or anything, my pants still fit, etc. But I need to get below that number once again or I feel as if I could just spiral out of control - just a few pounds and I am good.

It was time to bring in the big guns - that's right, the 30 DAY SHRED. It's really quite magical. The last time I did it I was over that number after having birthed my third AND LAST FROM MY WOMB child. I did it for the month, lost 5 pounds and was done - I moved on.

Jillian Michaels is now back in my life and I dislike her as much as I did the last time - it seems she reads my mind each time I do the workout and screams at me to not give up, don't turn off the tv, it's only 20 minutes. I KNOW JILLIAN BUT I COULD BE READING OR WATCHING MY HULU RIGHT NOW..........

Instead I grit my teeth and swear that I will lose those pounds and never see her again.

My children all enjoy this too.

Nico said the other day he loves when the girls all take their clothes off and exercise. The ones in the back can't talk but the one in front can. (Seriously, next time I go to the library I will HAVE to check out some books on Eleanor Roosevelt, Geraldine Ferraro and other noteworthy women.......)

Fia likes to do some of the exercises with me and at one point said oh mom I bet you wish you were like them. OH MY WORD! NO! Please don't tell me my baby thinks that women have to look exactly like that. Oh no I will have to never do this video again......breathe, breathe, breathe.......ok....why honey? (Very calm now) Why do you think mommy would like to be like them?

Because they have mats and you don't.

Oh.

Yes, exactly, mommy wishes she had...........a mat. Just like those girls.