EVEN

Do you find that once you shut down, turn off and tune in to Him that God is RARELY subtle?  I think that we think he is hard to hear but it's because we do so much of the filling ourselves that we leave little or no room for Him.  Sat down tonight with my bible and study guide in hand from village and opened to this:

"Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness, And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!"    - Phillipians 2:6-8

So a favorite verse of just about EVERYONE'S - even me, who is not a biblical scholar can readily pull this one up in my mind.  I always focused on the lowering and humbling and not being equal, I mean this is JESUS we are talking about - healer, son of God, Redeemer, Prince of Peace, JESUS if he can do it then surely I, a mere mortal, can try to be humble and lower myself and be a servant.  But this time (and this is why I SO LOVE GOD'S WORD......it NEVER ceases to amaze me how alive it is and how God uses it to speak to us in different ways, in different seasons of our lives - I mean it's baffling to me, a mystery :)

 I read it and instantly thought........ok what's MY even?  Jesus' EVEN was death on a cross, his unthinkable was death in a horrifying and unimaginable way........but what's MY even?  I, most likely, am not going to die on a cross but God is going to require SOMETHING of me, something that I am unwilling to give up without Him.  If it were me I would be saying yeah, God, you can SO take this cup from me at anytime..........So I thought, well, I guess I should just ask Him, right?  And before the thought was even out of my mind, the words not even reached my lips.........came His reply...........CONTROL.

Will I give up CONTROL?  Will I allow things to feel uncomfortable, things to feel scattered about, things to feel out of control in order to give HIM control?

Will I live outside of my comfort, my ability?

Will I allow others to do, to be who God created them to be or will it just be ME, the way I like things to be done, the way I like things to go?

Will I allow failure to BE an option?  Is that ok?  Will be whole world be torn apart if things are exactly right?

WILL. I. GIVE. UP. CONTROL.

Well.

We'll see.

Not my will, but yours be done.

Easy to say.

Not easy to do.

What's YOUR even?

Ask Him.  

He just might answer.

Yeah, I know, TOTALLY TERRIFYING.