"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
- Romans 12:1
And I was on fire........wanting to know what my everything was, what was mine to lay on the altar. I scribbled notes and read passages and a week after that.........I practiced my own type of preaching in front of my village.......for the preacher man and his teacher wife are spurring me on........calling out in me what they see........and it's good. Terrifying, but good.
And so I talked. I talked of a vision and circles and finding out what your everything is and finding what God is calling you to without losing Him. I talked of remaining in Him and pruning and cutting off if you find yourself to far from your Creator, the one who started it all. I talked of families and our journey and what God is calling us to do, to be, to lay down on the altar.
" “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."
- John 15:5-8
But, now, tonight...........I sat in quiet time with my husband, with my children and I recalled my week.....the last week of feeling inadequate and impatient and wanting to run and escape and I thought.........oh my................did I forget? Did I forget to tell them? Did I forget that when God calls you to leave everything on the altar, to sacrifice it all......did I forget to tell them it is EVERYTHING?
For when God calls you.........it isn't because you are perfect and holy and doing everything right. It isn't because every step you take as a mom, a wife, a leader is perfect........no, you are to lay it all down. They ugly parts, the embarrassing parts, the cringe-worthy parts.......lay them all down, bring them to the Light, expose them. Give them to Him. And in giving them to Him, bring people to Him. Because in the midst of the hard times, the times when you fail, the times when you are not facebook perfect...........they know. They know that it's not YOU, it's not YOU who loves in the midst of heartbreak, it's not YOU who gives grace in the face of hatred, it's not YOU who forgives when hurt......it's HIM. Without Him.............oh my without Him.........without the light.............the things in the darkness would grow and fester and take over..........but when brought forth into the light......they GLORIFY. Because in our weakness His strength is made apparent.
"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God."
- John 3:19-21
"Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness,holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”
- 1 Corinthians 1:26-31
I remember, long ago, 10 years now...........wrestling with God, wrestling with my then preacher........about baptism, about laying it all down........I was waiting. I was waiting to be "perfect". I thought........I can't be baptized until I get this straightened out, until I get rid of this part of my life, until I let go of this, until I become this, until, until, until.
Until one day I sat in service.
Until one day I realized.
Until one day I rose from the pews..........not fully understanding but fully alive.
Until that day..................
I am not perfect. Everything in me is not pure and holy and worthy.
But He is.
It is in realizing my imperfections that I realize my need for Jesus.
It is realizing my raw need, my flaws, my ugliness that I realize my need for a Savior.
It is in realizing that in my weaknesses that God is made strong.
And so when God asks for your EVERYTHING.
He means it.
Don't wait until you "get it right"
Don't wait until you are this perfect, happy picture of what a Christ follower should be.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BECAUSE HE IS ENOUGH.