I feel as if I must write something about this day. THIS DAY being the day I have half dreaded since June 17th, 2006. Today was Fia's first day of kindergarten.
We have been incredibly blessed with a teacher who is experienced and kind and organized and will be a good disciplinarian. There are nice girls in her class who I had hoped would be there. There is even an aide I met this morning that I have known since I was little. The whole building is on high alert looking for Linda Kossler's granddaughter, Joe and Mandy Codispoti's daughter. We are blessed.
But it's still hard. It's my girl. The one who is my heart. The one that I probably worry about the most. For there is uncertainty within her little body. She is not one who embraces change or adventure or new experiences. She is like her daddy, like her mommy. Maybe not the people that we have become and learned to be but the people, the children we were when young.
Yet in other ways, I think she is better than we are. She has a kindness and generosity that goes beyond her years, beyond her genes. She is what we prayed for when we were still just thinking of what may come. In the womb we asked God to bless our child with these qualities. Back when we had long hours to talk and wonder and imagine we each picked out a quality that, for us, was above all others. We talked about how to encourage these in our child that was to come. We prayed for these qualities. Joe's was generosity, mine was kindness. It's amazing to see how God has answered prayer in that manner. For my girl has a heart for giving and a heart for showing others kindness. Just the other day she talked about Christmas and after going to grandpa and grandma's house to open presents she would like to come back to our house to wrap presents and make presents for other people that don't have very much, maybe in other countries. The week before she thought maybe we should put on gloves and take bags around the neighborhood to collect trash. She is quick to think of others.
I pray that she is indeed a light to others at school. That she live out our prayers for her. I pray God's protection over her, these hours that she is away from us. I love this little girl and today I have missed her. It seems there is a bit missing from our day. It was such a beautiful day and how I longed to have her on our walk with us, at the rock pile and reading books on the couch as the sun shone in. I know she is where she is suppose to be, God has assured my heart with every single blessing I asked for and more.
But it's hard.