Sunday, August 21, 2011

A Serious Disorder Affecting the Male Population of the United States

............otherwise known as "Piles". I think that this is an actual disease - Ashley, please let us know so Jani could tell us a home remedy which would then be furthered treated by my oncall specialist, Bekah's husband, and then we could always ask Jen who has probably had it.

I digress..........I started noticing 2 years ago that my son had issues with this. It only took about two months into my marriage to notice that, indeed, Joe was already a goner and that my job was to just treat the disease not to cure it (I hope that my husband is in a good mood when he reads punishment will, of course, be my next post which will be titled "How I Can't Keep a Closet Organized to Save My Life or My Life Long Struggle With Folding a Towel Properly"). When Nico was two and barely talking at all he had a shelf in his room with his "treasures". He would take guests into his room and tell them all about his treasures - a rubber ring from the salad spinner, a car, pieces of paper, etc. One day I got so bothered by this "pile" that I swept it all in a basket and put it under the shelf.


He was VERY upset that his treasures were gone (I should have recalled the many times I tried to move his father's "treasures" into my version of a more organized pile or place......). He proceeded to take them all out of the basket and put them back in THE EXACT SAME SPOTS. He was 2, people, and these were RANDOM BITS OF, TREASURE......and they were put back with precision, about 15 items. I didn't make that mistake again.

I walked into his room today to find this:

It had happened so gradually, after changing his room, that I hadn't noticed the disease had reared it's ugly head once again. To anyone else this may look like a random assortment of trash and you might think that it's time to clean it off. But OH NO I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON (Yes, Joe, I know that after 7 years I have yet to learn my lesson with you but I am trying honey, really trying and yes, I know that I really have to start aiming better and really trying to get the diapers IN the basket in the garage because you work very hard to keep it clean and it DOES NOT help when I just throw things in there willy nilly). That huge loopy thing is a toy bought at a garage sale for TWO DOLLARS and we HAD to get it because the main reason that he loves to go to the Arways' house is because of all their super cool hot wheel stuff. The Justice League of America clock is my brother's from when he was little that grandpa thought he would like to have. There is a christmas music box from Aunt Susie, a paper airplane Joe made, a stuffed turtle from a neighbor, two pretend trophies that he made from blocks, a night light, a torn Diego birthday card, a flag and two cars. Now you may think just clean it off, Mandy, he won't notice some missing things. I HAVE TRIED. Without fail, the same things will show up on the dresser IN THE SAME PLACE later that day or the next.

I think this is the beginning of a life long struggle. I want to apologize to Nico's future wife and say that I will work on it. If you, all 4 readers out there, find or have any cure for this disease please pass it on. My entry way needs your help:

Yes, honey, there will come a post in which I go through the cupboards and take pictures of every dish that I completely and INADVERTENTLY put away with just a few little spots on it. (Ok, to be honest there have been many GROSS dishes put away, things I wouldn't even eat off of....I mean ENTIRE BOWLS with pesto residue caked on it after 8 cycles through the takes me a while to admit defeat and actually wash the dish myself)


mandyc said...

So I just looked up what piles is.......gross.

Maria Codispoti said...

I have to admit that it isn't just men that have this disease. I too have it.